margaret russell : observation 10

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |
OBSERVATION | 8 |
OBSERVATION | 9 |

OBSERVATIONS 10 - 1
[posted in descending order]

| 10 |

The Love Song of Margaret "Elle" Russell


Even in its nearly gutted condition,
the loft was seductive . . .


. . . with a gutsy, industrial feel
and walls of amazing windows.


I visited while
shopping at the nearby
wholesale flower market.


He paired
deep aubergine walls
with a glittery chandelier.


Stunning and stunningly expensive,
his bath is
...................just plain sexy.


I was surprised that I was so
crazy for that
...................round sunken bed.

margaret russell : observation 9

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |
OBSERVATION |8 |

OBSERVATIONS 9 - 1
[posted in descending order]

| 9 |

1.

referring to themselves in the third person,
the side chairs looked a little nervous
all by themselves in the corners.


2.

cover images can be an enigma

An overabundance of random accessories
(brackets, vases, objets),
an odd rug that trapped any unsuspecting high heel,

------------the lovely
---pond-scum ---taupe,

unwieldy club chairs facing into the room,
poorly conceived pairings of furnishings
(Lucite lamps on Gustavian side tables),

-----------the word “dreamy”
-------------------------(alas, it’s vintage)
appears in barely legible
---pale-pink---type

(hence, the newsstand bomb).

wayne's world

and other ideas for Top Design improvements and spinoffs

They are down to three designers: Andrea, Matt and Carisa.

This is actual dialogue:

Matt: We’re Charlie’s Angels.
[They are entering the PDC.[
Matt: I’m Farrah.
Andrea: Yes. Yes you are.

Priceless.

The Angels head to the PDC to get their orders.

Charlie/Todd: Pick an Elle Décor cover. Design a room like this cover but not like this cover.

Make it for $7,500. That shouldn’t be a problem after you’ve had the PDC discounts and budgets of 40K. You have all of Los Angeles to shop in. Oh? You don’t know the city? No problem – here’s a computer. You can enter the names of the shops you don’t know into the computer and get their addresses here.

It’s another damned PDC pod assignment. What? They couldn’t find three rooms in all of Los Angeles that they could use?

Andrea goes straight to an architectural shop. She’s going to focus on how she is an architect rather than a designer. That is what the judges are looking for in her right? She is also looking for “natural looking” furnishings. I guess because her style is so natural—very crunchy and earthy.

Carisa – god love her – is having a fabulous time shopping. One thing I admire about Carisa is that when she isn’t stressed she is incredibly cheerful about what she is doing.

That does look like a fun shop.

Andrea is being very smug about how she has the advantage since she’s from Los Angeles. Uh-oh.

Then there is Matt. He is freaking out. This was painful but it was also entertaining. I did not realize that he was THAT much of a decorator prima donna.

Now I have not jumped on the whole Matt-is-gay bandwagon. I've been amused by it, sure. But I've not insisted that it must be so. I’ve a penchant for those lean intellectual guys. (And of course there is the whole “Jesus-is-My-Boyfriend- um, let’s call it an “unresolved issue”.”)

Anyhoo, I can go with the whole Charlies Angels / Farrah thing – that was a self-conscious joke - however, THIS was one of the gayest things I’ve heard:

“Like, bargain shopping – that’s not what I do.”

Of course he may have momentarily been possessed by Cher from Clueless.

Anyway, there is more fun to be had with Matt -- lots more -- when we meet his tailor Wayne Yazzie, who, guessing from his hat and glasses, appears to have been in the midst of a poker game.

I would like to find a picture of Wayne to use here.
If anyone has a screen cap I can use let me know.

The enigmatic Wayne inspired the sidebar below:

NOTE TO PRODUCERS:

1. wayne

I have this to say about the sudden introduction of Wayne:

WHAT THE HELL?!!

Where has HE been? We are just NOW meeting this character?!!! Are there more of them in the PDC upholstery center? Has Bravo been hiding some treasure trove of nutcases from viewers?

I feel completely cheated. It is like there was this whole other show that I missed -- the fun, entertaining version of Top Design -- the show that included kooks like Wayne.

2. todd

Speaking of which, that show would also have included a lot more of Todd. Could Todd be more wonderful? I think not.

Todd is completely and utterly the Voice of Reason. And you need that if you have a show populated by people who are increasingly becoming more and more insane.

Todd has a similar role to Tim Gunn but he plays it in a very different way. Todd is very understated. He’s much kinder, gentler. Tim Gunn seems more informed because he acts the role of the expert: imperious and opinionated. It is hilarious and theatrical; it is perfect for the world of fashion which has so much to do with performance.

Todd is actually much more informed; he has far more experience in the field and unlike Gunn he provides real hands-on instructions – tips and tricks -- on how to do things. Frankly we did not get enough Todd time. We could even use a little Todd segment each episode. Like on how to do that little upholstery trick he showed Matt.

3. the carpenters

The carpenters should be standing up there with the designers. They do a hell of a lot of work. I mean Goil had Sarah make a lot of aesthetic decisions for him. Carl sees himself as an artisan and that may lead to a lot of arguing with Carisa but it is also why she succeeds. Plus, from the start Carisa’s designs have had a lot of built-ins so – although she would never admit it – her work is very much a team effort. Some of those carpenters are craftsmen (and women) and as a potter you’d think Jonathan Adler would realize that the ones that are doing that level of work deserve a little more of the credit.

4. the weasel

Get rid of that sick little mofo “The Assistant.” Bravo should be ashamed of itself for encouraging this by letting it continue. You would never have someone write things in the name of Bravo that were that homophobic or racist. Why is it okay to be that virulently misogynist?

. . . AND WE’RE BACK

Matt says he has Margaret in the back of his head.

Kelly claims that Matt confessed "a distracting crush on Margaret."

Oh, that will go over well back at home.

Through the NSA we've been able to get excerpts from Matt's phone calls following this revelation.

Wife: Who is this Margaret? Where does this whore live? I swear to god I'll cut her.

Daughter: Daddy what's a switchblade?

Wife: I'm coming to get your skinny-ass. I'll kill you and your whore-bitch girlfriend.

Daughter: Mommy went on a trip. Uncles Hoboy and Kilo are here. They make sugar and they said I can try some if I'm good.

Wife: You bastard. I liked it better when you were gay.

Well, I'm sure they've patched things up by now.


Unfortunately either Margaret isn't talking to Carisa or the voices in Carisa's head are bickering so much that she can't hear what Margaret is saying this week. Because what Margaret is saying is that there is no way in hell that Elle Décor would publish any of her designs, which is what Margaret says at the judging.

This is why it is bizarre that they kicked Andrea off. Carisa’s room was basically the best room. If it wasn’t going to win because it was not up to Elle Décor ’s standards then you might as well kick Carisa off now. Why have her go on to the finals if in the finals Margaret is just going to say the same thing: this isn't Elle Décor 's style.

Part of this is Carisa's fault. It was like she was trying to irk Margaret. She knew what Margaret's pet peeve was -- and so that was what she did.

Oh Carisa -- pillows on the Jacobson chair? WhyWhyWhy?

If you have listened to anything Margaret has said to you then why in gods name do you have pillows everywhere?

Maybe she has the wrong Margaret voice in her head. Maybe she has the voice of Marge Simpson.

"I say there should be more pillows and knick-knacks!"

ANDI 'N' CARI : COMING TO YOUR TOWN SOON!

Andrea and Carisa are such opposites that they are like a comedy team. Andrea is so understated that she seems morose. Her statements are often unintentionally droll. Carisa can be very funny and of course she is also comically awful at times.



Carisa (sharing her unsolicited opinion with Andrea): "I’m not sure why you painted it at all . . . Nothing says happy like grey.”

Andrea is pissed off at Carisa for saying this and yet in the next scene she realizes that her grey room is depressing. To brighten it up and make it happy she paints it taupe. That’s the spirit Andrea.

Andrea: “Carisa is different from me in thinking and vocalizing” which is a rather quaint way of saying that Carisa is a bitch.

Andrea: “I love hearing other people freak out.“ For Andrea “vocalizing” (a primitive animal act) or any sort of expression of emotion would involve a massive surgical procedure. She can’t help it. Let us not forget that Andrea is Swiss and emotions are for ethnic people.


If that comedy team doesn’t work out perhaps there could be a sitcom with Carl and Carisa. I think we all cheered when Carl finally snapped at Carisa. I also thought it was hilarious that Carisa didn’t miss a beat. Neither one of them did. The two of them just kept on working and bickering. It is amazing that they can concentrate. It is amazing that someone hasn’t lost a finger.

Or a head.

Even so, I thought Carisa was going to win.

Carisa's room really captured the cover of Elle magazine -- so I don't know how you can then say it isn't Elle's style or standard. If it isn't up to that level of luxury maybe that is because the budget was $7500.

It says a lot about how much Margaret hates Carisa’s style. Or something. It almost seems like there is some class snobbery going on that makes Margaret biased against Carisa.

Jonathan, on the other hand, is clearly charmed by her. He likes her style but he also likes that "be happy" part of Clarisa.


However, Margaret was dressed in a silver silk satin dress in the style of a 1930s film goddess so you know her word was the final word.

As if it ever isn’t.

Kelly, by the way, had gotten rid of her bad perm this week. That's the good news.

The bad news is that she had plates hanging from her ears -- not dinner or salad plates, more like bread plates.

The look was sort of Apocalypto by way of Fort Lauderdale.

It was understated for her.

margaret russell : observation 8

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |

| 8 |

You need to think about the bigger picture and not get too theoretical. It's not just about the idea of fire or horizon; it's about sleeping in a bed or sitting in a comfortable chair and reading the paper in the morning.

A really well-dressed bed: that's luxury.

observations on observations 1-7

revised (edits) 03/28 9amIt has been a while since I've taken stock of my Top Design literary project: Margaret Russell's Observations. So I've decided to provide a little overview of the "works to date." I've also reprinted the text of the Introduction and the Commentary on Observations #1-3 that I posted previously.

I don't have any general narrative or thematic picture to offer, alas (I know you will be ever so disappointed, gentle reader). Since each week offers up a completely different set of circumstances, I never know what I'm going to use and so I have no plan in mind. It will be interesting (more likely, it won't) to see if the combined sensibilities of Margaret's comments and my fancy will end up producing some motif or sensibility that will make these various entries cohere. (Okay, the unfolding of this literary insight will be about as interesting as watching paint dry.) Stay tuned. (Or not. At any rate, it keeps me amused.)

Click on the titles to go to the individual OBSERVATIONS.

INTRODUCTION:
One of the main reasons for tuning in to Top Design is to hear what Margaret Russell is going to say. Therefore as regular feature I will be presenting some Margaret Russell's wit and wisdom under a selected edition I haved titled "Observations." The entries will be primarily comprised of epigraphs -- quotations taken from the show. However, I will use my editorial discretion to select the proper form: such as a poem, a koan, a simple statement of design principle, a theatrical note such as an ironic aside, or perhaps some mixed literary-philosophical genre.

OBSERVATION 1
The first week's was a light koan spoken in a more off-hand modern language.

OBSERVATION 2
The second week she again uses the terse declarative statement, but this time it is more poetic, moving into more of a haiku form: her repetition reinforced her characteristic irony, thus the second can be seen as a negation -- or question -- ofthe first. Repetition also insists on further reflection whereupon we might discover that something seemingly simple -- even silly -- may also plumb profound depths.

OBSERVATION 3
Margaret's literary stylings expanded this week in her celebratation of the seaside in southern France. She moved away from the statement form and her language became more associative. I think it was the southern French connection: perhaps she became possessed by the the spirit of the troubadours. Her simple questions -- romantic and almost child-like -- evoke the popular ballad form. The poem appears to be an aubade that celebrates the morning light.The aubade was popular with both the troubadors and as well as modernist poets such as Ezra Pound who greatly admired the troubadors. The second stanza's classic imagist style is very reminiscent of H.D. Indeed, her intense compaction and ironic undercurrent perfectly captures the spirit of the Americans in France a century ago. Can we read this as Margaret's preference for the modern over the of French country decor?

OBSERVATION #4
This is comprised of a series of three statements, each one a different type of address that moves from distance inward. The first is what we have come to know as her forte, i.e., the declarative statement (usually the pronouncement of a rule); the second is a more personal, conversational line addressed to "you"; and the third seems confessional and private as if spoken only to herself.

OBSERVATION #5
This observation was Margaret's challenge to Kelly, but really it is addressed to all of us. Margaret isn't just warning against being charmed by fakers who have nothing to back up their talk; she is demanding that we take art seriously. We must question its claims and explore its meanings. Art is where we engage with "big ideas."

OBSERVATION #6
This consists of four short poems that are typical "Margaretisms." I decided to break them into separate sections and add line breaks in order to emphasize the different ways that she uses language that can be seen as employing literary techniques:

1. The first one is a list. What interested me was the richness of the language luxury as it builds up in her list of the extravagant celebrations of the super-rich. The language itself seems to participate in the enjoyment of excess.
2. The second could be seen as using pacing and inflection to mimic meaning but mainly I just like the line.
3. The third is syllabic (count'em).
4. The last one, especially taken out of context, becomes is a wonderful pair of absurd contradictions -- like something out of Alice in Wonderland.
   

OBSERVATION #7
We return to the haiku: these two are in the classic seventeen syllable form.

margaret russell : observation 7

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |

| 7 |

the olive branch
on the top of the sideboard
was a poetic touch


although polished
and ready for guests, the room
was cautious and quiet

margaret russell : observation 6

Observations
by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |

| 6 |

I.

Even decades later, people are still talking about
Truman Capote’s legendary Black and White ball,
the launch party for Yves Saint Laurent’s Opium scent,
and the birthday bash that Malcolm Forbes threw in Morocco.


II.

My biggest disappointment,
however, was the flowers.


III.

But “furry” is an
adjective for pets
and stuffed animals,
not flowers.
.......................Ever.


IV.

The wall of lemons
wasn’t a wall,
and the chandeliers
weren’t chandeliers either.

margaret russell : observation 5

Observations
by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5|

| 5 |

Where was the art? Where the hell was the art? Where was the big idea? He always has a big idea and you've been charmed by them and he didn't have anything.

THE ROAD TO NOWHERE

margaret russell : observation 4

Observations
by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |

| 4 |

I. Afghans need to stay in the family that made them.


II. You let me say some nice things tonight.


III. I'm not in the places where people live.

let's get real

or, fantasy is overrated when everyone’s fantasy is exactly the same

the look of luxury

The "Tahiti" cabana won and yet -- or, I would argue because -- it had nothing to do with Tahiti.

It did, however, fit the current design rage for everything fitting into the "luxury spa look."

• white curtains,
• bamboo blinds,
• white linens,
• teak and bamboo wood furnishings
• martini glasses and shaker, etc.

In other words, that Tahiti "cabana" was the look of upscale Club-Med-Anywhere design.

This style is about how it doesn't matter where you are because you are always in the lap of luxury. Every place is provided with the modern conveniences of any other place. Even the various beach names are literally interchangeable. They are just theme names given to clubs that basically all look the same:

Above, clockwise from upper left: Nikki Beach St. Tropez in Miami; "Kon Tiki" Tahiti Beach in St. Tropez; Miami's Nikki Beach in St. Tropez with Tahiti-style cabana.

Above: Club Med Anywhere & Luxury Spa Anywhere.

anywhere but here

The important thing about this kind of travel is that you are always in the care of the hotel/spa and remain on their grounds where the environment is controlled: you are chauffeured to and from the airport and aside from special helicopter tours with catered picnics you never leave the confines. That way you never have to encounter anything that is actually indigenous or that won't take Visa.

The local environment is so completely mediated so that it will always be comfortable and aesthetically pleasing. Thus you avoid the hazard of encountering anything that might be unfamiliar or not up to your standards of taste like local design, culture, food, and, of course, people. The only locals you meet are the ones that work for you.

bright colors are so . . . ethnic

They kicked off the person whom they thought picked colors that were too garish and bright. Nonetheless team Miami was the only group that took a chance and did something that was actually informed by local culture and style. Miami is associated with bright colors –- not just 30s art deco but also 50s mambo; with Cuba, Latin America and the Caribbean; with tourist kitsch, 80s pastels, and neon lights: it is a place of exuberance to the point of excess.

For another example of a cabana design that probably would have offended the sensibilities of the judges as well check this out: The WOWhouse Cabana (a backyard playhouse/cabana planned with the input of the two girls who will use it).

a bahamavention intervention

Top Design has an opportunity to challenge the design world by rewarding the designers that take risks and that break away from the most staid and predictable of trends. However, those trends are what make money. The problem is that if something is new then it hasn't proven itself marketable yet. (And if it doesn't make money then, of course, it can't possibly be any good.) Television and magazines make a lot of money from the advertisers for all of these luxury spa goods and vacations. I'm sure they don’t want to reward the designers that don’t reinforce this industry.

Is this too cynical? Well I don’t think it is possible to be too cynical about advertising motivations, and I see little evidence that this show is aiming for anything higher.

Do I think the judges are consciously doing this? Of course not. But the judges live in the world of luxury spas. They aren't going to question the fact that when in Tahiti one expects to have beautiful flowing white curtains, bamboo blinds, white linens, teak furnishings, martini glasses and a shaker.

blots on the otherwise tasteful country club look

Undoubtedly when Margaret saw an item that reminded her of the hamburger shack at her country club she threw up a little bit in her mouth. How she must have suffered at the trauma of such an aesthetically impure association!

If your environment is the country club then I suppose you would be horrified by the idea of something that looks like the hamburger shack. On the other hand, you might want to broaden your environment.

what they don't know will hurt us

They're in Surf City. Southern California. Beach side hamburger shacks – and surf shacks -- are part of the culture. I think it would have been more fun to see them design updated versions of these.

One problem with this assignment was that some of the designers did not know what a cabana was (seriously) or anything about St. Tropez or Tahiti. (I know. I know.) The fact that team Tahiti could not think of anything in between Gilligan’s Island and Generic Luxury Spa is a sad combination of a lack of knowledge and a lack of imagination.

Nonetheless, if the assignment was to do surf shacks at least the designers would have been able to grasp the idea better and therefore perhaps they would have been more creative in their designs. And, more importantly, it would have been more interesting for us.

The question remains whether Margaret could have handled the concept of leisure outside of luxury spas and country clubs!

bon mots

This week all three of the judges had some good zingers.


Jonathan hilariously described his response to Goil/Carisa/Ryan's design as: "I'm in St. Tropez, I'm in St. Tropez, I'm in St. Tr -- Wait! I'm in Buffalo."

Team Tahiti's roofless design evoked a couple of the best quips, like Kelly's suggestion that they "include a bucket of zinc oxide." Margaret channelled some of Kelly's southern style and declared, "You're gonna get fried."

In this week's Observation, Margaret's literary stylings reached a new zenith this week. She moved away from the statement form and her language became more associative. I think it was the southern French connection: she became possessed by the the spirit of the troubadours.

The previous weeks observations had an Asian, zen-like style with her use of terse statements that appear simple but upon reflection they plumb profound depths. The first week's was a light koan spoken in a more off-hand modern language. The second week she became more poetic: her repetition reinforced her characteristic irony as well as her use of the haiku form.

This week Margaret celebrated the southern French landscape in poem that is both modern and traditional. Her simple questions -- romantic but almost child-like -- evoke the popular ballad form. The poem appears to be an aubade that celebrates the morning light.The aubade was popular with both the troubadors and as well as modernist poets such as Ezra Pound who greatly admired the troubadors. The second stanza's classic imagist style is very reminiscent of H.D. Indeed, her intense compaction and ironic undercurrent perfectly captures the spirit of the Americans in France a century ago. Can we read this as Margaret's preference for high modernism over the decor of French country?

• Week 1 : Observations
• Week 2 : Observations
• Week 3: Observations

margaret russell : observations 3

Observations
by
Margaret Russell

edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |

| 3 |

COTE D'AZUR

Did blue come up at all?

Did the color blue?


Clear blue
Sea blue
Cerulean blue
Saint Tropez blue?

Trés Saint Tropez

margaret russell : observations . 2

Observations
by
Margaret Russell

edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
| 1 |

| 2 |

I.

you can't design a room around a cat

II.

by the way,

did you know that

you can’t design a room around a cat?

SOURCES
I : televised episode 2 (repeated in TD montages)
II : blog for episode 2

margaret russell : observations . 1

INTRODUCTION: One of the main reasons for tuning in to Top Design is to hear what Margaret Russell is going to say. Therefore as regular feature I will be presenting some Margaret Russell's wit and wisdom under a selected edition I haved titled "Observations." The entries will be primarily comprised of epigraphs -- quotations taken from the show. However, I will use my editorial discretion to select the proper form: such as a poem, a koan, a simple statement of design principle, a theatrical note such as an ironic aside, or perhaps some mixed literary-philosophical genre. Here is the first one:

Observations
by

Margaret Russell

edited by kora in hell
2007

| 1 |


that yellow pepper: what was that?