Thursday, January 18, 2007

two terms

...continuing under the topic of how everything would be ever so much better if I were in charge...

Here are two terms that I really hope I don't hear on Top Design:

1. window treatments
What kind of treatments do windows need other than washing? Moisturizing? What do these treatments entail? Are they for a serious condition? This phrase annoys me. It is completely unnecessary. What is wrong with curtains? drapes? shades? The first person to use this term should be automatically kicked off the show. Via defenestration.

2. embellishments
The way that this word is put into practice among crafters "to embellish" actually means "to festoon." Embellishments are small bright objects that are especially appealing to obese women with bad perms who use the words "scrapbook" and "journal" as verbs. If someone is using a hot glue gun then there is a good chance that they are embellishing. If someone is embellishing an item, this is a good indication that their creation has reached the point of no return. They should discard it and start over. But first they have to write "less is more" on the chalkboard one hundred times.

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