class(less) reunion

episode 12 posts :

• blame it on kayne : keith's secret to success
• precious moments : treasure them always
• all my alisons : a meditation
  
• behind the masks : serious ugly -- and just in time for halloween!

blame it on kayne

please don't blame it on keith

he just needs somebody to burn

In the email/rant that he sent to BPR Keith wrote:

SO- I BROUGHT BOOKS! IS THIS SUCH A FOREIGN CONCEPT- HAVE WE GONE SO FAR BACK IN TIME THAT BOOK BURNINGS ARE BACK IN FASHION????

Oh, get off your soapbox and get a grip on yourself.

It isn't like he brought along Cervantes or Dostoevsky. As for going back in time to the burning of books: by comparing his situation to historical book burnings Keith is evoking the Inquisition and the Holocaust, which is rather offensive. This isn't a witch hunt and he might also want to review the history of the Salem witch trials to see what real oppression was like. Elevating himself to this level of drama is not going to evoke any sympathy -- it just suggests a tendency towards paranoia and delusions of grandeur. No one is burning books. But Keith does appear to be burning a quite a few bridges.

There are so many gems in this letter but I think this is the passage that should garner him the most friends:

. . . the most disappointing thing of all is seeing all the short sighted, small minded, nasty, base, cruel speculation without knowing any facts- about something people saw on TV!!!!!!! TV. Umm common- it’s 2006- I know that television with all its pretty colors is at the zenith of It’s [sic] craft but really- do none of you know the meaning of scripting and editing? leave me alone and get a clue………..You’ve been duped- and if you don’t believe it, good luck in life. Weak minded people will always be manipulated . . .

I'll limit myself to three observations. First of all, nothing wins readers over like telling them that they are morons. Second, long ranting and insulting letters to the blog with the largest fan readership for the show is not exactly a demonstration that he wants to be left alone. Third, ironically Keith is the one who doesn't seem to be able to separate himself from his media persona. Sadly, his continued efforts to bring them together only serve to reinforce his villianous character for the show. (As always I refer readers to "for the record.")

The best thing he could do for himself would be to drop the matter and put it behind him, unless he actually thrives on the drama (after all, he is the one most reponsible for creating it). If this is the case then the worst thing that happened to him was that he stopped being the center of attention (see hystrionic personality disorder) and by stirring the pot again he is getting what he wants: everyone talking about him.

Unlike Vincent whose delusions about himself buoy his spirits (in addition to making him a total jerk), Keith's sense of superiority seems to mainly fuel anger and hostility. And I thought Vincent made the show ugly. It seems like Keith is in the midst of come sort of full-blown crack-up which limits any schadenfreude I might have been able to muster up for all of this.

Click here for a small discussion of the reunion incident.

(note: click on the image above to check out more of these great corporate inspiration parodies)

precious moments

the sweetest thing
Who didn't enjoy Alison's assertion (and didn't we just know she would say something like this?) that:

"Animals make me happy."

Of course they do, sweetheart. Of course they do.
And you make animals happy too.

(see also
http://kora-in-hell-pr.blogspot.com/2006/10/all-my-alisons.html
all my alisons post.)

moving from the sublime to the ridiculous . . .

the fluff and fold tantrum
Vincent's "fluff and fold" meltdown over a laundry error (he was reimbursed for almost twice as much as the value of the item) was completely unacceptable behavior. Rather than talking him into staying they should have shown him the door. That said, it was also completely and utterly hilarious. My top three moments from that film clip are:

• When he channels Rodney Dangerfield and says, apropos of get-over-yourself, "No respect." News flash: respect is earned Vinny.
  
• When the camera turns to the producer (Rucker I believe) who just shrugs his shoulders. God love him. And just off camera we hear Vincent whine "it's not funny!" Oh, but it is, Vinny. It is.
• Vincent's plaintive cry at the end of the clip when he, incoherent with rage, emits this inchoate sound of "why why wha wha whaaaaa ??!!!!" Normally I don't find someone's suffering to be humorous, but every time I hear that it makes me laugh.

don't get too comfortable
This precious moment captured the irate Keith telling Heidi and Tim that he was the victim of a conspiracy concocted by the crew. In the pause that followed this assertion, while everyone stared at him, dumbfounded, he spat out: "Uncomfortable isn't it?"

Actually "uncomfortable" wasn't the right word. Gobsmacked might have worked better. My guess is that they were not made uneasy by his accusation in the sense that they felt implicated by it, they were simply too surprised to think of what to say. They needed time to recalibrate the new information. That new information was not his bizarre theory that producers planted the books on him. No, the new information was that Keith had become delusional if not barking mad.

as a followup:
Keith's ranting letter to BPR begins: "Seems like everyone is bitter that I might be actually telling the truth." Again, there is a usage problem. No one is bitter about this incident but Keith himself. Everyone else is just entertained. Nothing more. Sorry, Keith. It is a tv show. It is entertainment. The antics on it are just not that important.

(Click here for more on KM's "book burning"charges.)

and while we are on the subject of vocabulary usage . .

circuit circus
Because this reunion focused on Tim Gunn's fancy schmancy vocabulary (jesus wept) I have provided a brief but no less irritatingly pedantic discussion of what appears to be Tim Gunn's misuse of the word "circuitous":

At the risk of sounding like the pedant that I am, "circuitous" was not actually the right word to describe that staircase. The staircase was in a circular form, a spiral staircase to be specific, which is not the same as being circuitous. The route they were following may have been complicated and indirect and thus was circuitous. In standard English, however, the staircase was not. The etymology of the word is from circle or round but its meaning has shifted so that it is associated with indirection more than circularity. Ironically, one usage is to indicate an artificial form of speaking.

The man makes so few missteps that it is pissy to call attention to them. But I don't trust someone who appears to be completely flawless. I like him better this way.

a question of taste
Laura's response to that cheesy Publisher's Clearinghouse episode was one of the best lines of the show. We have Michael Kors -- Mr. Impeccable Taste -- impersonating Ed McMahon in order to present Michael with a check for the viewer's choice award. The sheer tackiness of it all did not escape Laura's notice and just as the excitement was hitting its peak she did what she always does: she calls 'em like she sees 'em:

behind the masks

. . . there was some serious ugly going on this season.

On the face of it, the designers started out resembling human beings, but it didn't take long to have doubts about a few of them. Who am I kidding? These guys seemed creepy from the start. The masks cracked from the get go. And it wasn't pretty.

the three faces of keith :

the three monsters of the runway :

click here for the original story using this image.

&
the most fearsome of them all

The hiss.
The swish.
The disdain.
The utter indifference.
And the infuriating fact that, try as they may, they just cannot knock her off of her feet.

She sees them for what they are -- creeps and bullies -- and calls them on it. With one whip she can put them in their place and they skulk away licking their wounds and whining "she's a bad mommy."

And it makes them SO MAD when women refuse to be their mommies!!

But when the mask comes off
the kitten comes out to play.

(click here for halloween costume ideas from jay mccarroll.)

bloody elle

(or, as a woman I worked with in London used to say: "bloo-awdy 'ale!")

Let me first say that kora in hell loves the title of this week’s challenge. The only thing better would have been “what the bloody buggery elle is all this then?” But "what the elle" is a little more concise I suppose.

hang on uli #2

(click here for hang on uli #1 - and scroll down)

She did it! Good for our little miami mädchen!

They had to let all four go because they were counting on auffing uli and then she, smart girl: 1. nabbed Nazri, 2. had a house-frau crisis with her first dress, 3. ripped it apart, 4. and in a few hours created the most beautiful hippy dress in the world. Yes, I’d say Uli works well under pressure.

And how cute was uli’s scrunched-up excited face?


That's putting the body into it. And speaking of which, Nazri playing drums was almost as cute as my nephew playing drums:

That is some serious hippy babe cuteness going on there.

I am talking about cavity-inducing ADORABLE, people.
(With effusive thanks to Rich for his inspired posting of this clip because it never fails to make my day and I just had to find a reason to link to it and I am sure I will find more so you should really check out the whole cuteness context for it while you are there because it is hilarious.)


the difference between uli and zulema

(By they way don’t they sound like new brands of alcoholic beverages? “Bartender, give me one uli straight up and a zulema on the rocks.”)

First rule: if you steal someone’s muse you damn well better win with her. Zulema immediately got herself and her “stolen booty” kicked off. Zulema had a bad reputation for the way she treated her models and Uli did not. Zulema humiliated the models with a “walk off.” Zulema had no remorse for what she did and did not have any sympathy for the effect her actions had on the model or on Nick. Uli approached the matter a bit differently.

While I think Michael was really thrown for a loop on this and I feel bad for him, I don’t begrudge Uli too much for what she did. I mean Nazri looks fantastic in everything but you can’t tell me that any other model is more perfect for Uli’s style of dress than Nazri. Michael took the high road, as Tim said, and didn’t flip out. No one ostracized Uli like the group did to Zulema. However, Uli’s choice was one that everyone could understand and she did it in a way that didn’t cause bad feelings.

And the outcome was one of the most winning combinations we’ve seen:

s-mokin'

jeffrey & marilinda

Jeffrey‘s success owes a lot to Marilinda who is another of the very best models. And that girl was so was so damn pretty this week I nearly melted. Lordy! It doesn’t matter if you are man, woman, straight, gay – if that photo of her in the "rickshaw" (really?) didn’t send you reeling head-over-heels in love then you are sorely lacking in romantic spirit.

Do they actually have rickshaws in Central Park these days?

I liked Jeffrey's dress -- but how ironic is it that he made a Holly Hobbie dress?!!!!


check out the holly hobbie chronicles:

• the hh chronicles
• the hobbien mysteries
• when hh hits the runway
• circa 1974

laura & michael

I was just wondering -- what if Laura and Michael combined their dresses?

laura

Laura’s dress was exquisite. She accomplished the difficult task of topping herself. She made the most beautiful of her dresses with the exception of the fact that the v-neck was far too low. But that dress was exquisite and proof that she creates fashion at the highest level, even if its range is rather narrow. It isn’t like that is unheard of in the world of fashion. (See my earlier post on Laura’s win for a discussion of the importance of Camilla.)

michael

Clarissa is truly beautiful but Michael would have done well to pick Amanda. No one can work something like her. She’s the most chameleon-like of the group: put her into anything and she just inhabits the role and sells it hard.

There was really nothing wrong with that dress. It was lovely although the keyhole was too large. Just like Laura's neckline was too low. What is it with these designers?

Poor Michael seems to have hit a roadblock. He will need to work through this to make it to the next level. No one questions his ability. I think the problem is that he has the least experience of the final four and he probably just needs a little more time – and some good mentoring – to get past whatever it is that is holding him back.

Unlike Kara Janx from last season who was the 4th designer and got auffed, we’ve seen that Michael has the imagination and skill and range to really make it some day as one of America’s top designers. With Kara there was a sense that we had seen what she can do. With Michael one feels that we haven’t seen it all yet and that is what makes him more exciting. (And I don’t think his runway show was very strong, but that doesn’t change my argument.) I think he is just in an earlier stage of his development as a designer and when he hits his stride he could be better than all of the other three designers.


another shark sighting

Frankly, I have to say that my interest in pr has waned: too much vincent sucked the joy out of the show. It wasn't interesting; it was just tiresome.

Then there was a 2-week break during which we were able to see the so-so final collections.

For all the producers manipulations to make the show "interesting" they made the dumbest mistake in television -- screwing up the scheduling.

(click here to see the first shark attack warning- and scroll down)


bloody hell – another kih rant

keith

note: please read "for the record" if you haven't already

The previews show Keith at the reuinion, sweating and seething with rage.

It better be good. I want to see bad mommy put him in his place. By which I mean in the corner on a "time out" until he can behave like a grownup who has learned that sometimes you have to suck it up and live in a world where you are not always allowed to do exactly as you please. boo hoo.

Here’s the thing: there are the iconoclasts who see rules as there for the breaking; and then there are the sociopaths who see rules as there for the breaking. Keith is the latter.

That is to say, he thinks that the rules apply to everyone but him because he is better than everyone else. Some people call that that “narcissistic personality disorder.” (In fact, I would call that narcissistic personality disorder.) Combine that egotism with an inability to control one’s anger and that person becomes dangerous.

Keith just exudes that sense of entitlement that whatever he wants should be his to have. The irony is that, given how special he thinks he is, this attitude is as mainstream all-American as you can get.

He reminds me of a spoiled child who is outraged to discover that the world doesn't always give them whatever they want. It is a hazard of the constant ego-stroking done in the name of “nurturing” that creates brats who approach the world only in terms of what they deserve to get. It fosters all sorts of anti-social behavior from just being an irritating wanker to treating waiters badly to whining about getting an A minus when they deserved an A plus to cheating on tests to pathalogically lying to fraternity hazing (whether they are straight/gay makes little difference: it is all homosocial bonding over violence anyway) to thinking that the Geneva conventions' rules on torture should apply to the rest of the world but not him . . .

. . . oh wait, who was I talking about?


"it was a lulu"

In his podcast this week Tim Gunn said of the reunion: “it was a lulu” which made me feel all warm and fuzzy because I haven’t heard that in ages: that is something my grandma used to say and it was nice to hear someone say it again.

now available:

Insouciance & Apéritif review Episode 11 --

Don't miss Runway Model Theatre
(in French -- with English subtitles)