kora in hell | extra-curricular

tim gunn's guide to style

2007-09-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

I had a bad feeling about this show from the promos. Everytime I heard Tim Gunn bellow out-- in that pompous and patronizing tone of voice of his--that we were going to have to follow "My Rules!" my gut response was always: "fuck you." Whenever someone tells me that I am going to have to follow their rules (especially in that pissant manner) I immediately want to break every one of their goddamn rules just on principle.

I never believed the hype about this being all that different from any other fashion makeover show. As it turns out, what makes this one different is that it is twice as long and ten times as dull. They turned a guilty pleasure (basically a Cinderella story that dumps the prince and adds in a shopping spree) into a condescending over-serious lecture on self-improvement full of commonplace "rules" and new age platitudes.

Tim is funny on Project Runway because we just get short doses of his professor-manque posturing and pissy little quips. He becomes tiresome very quickly when you have to put up with him for a longer period of time.

I didn't think it was going to be very good but I also didn't expect it to be this bad. The reviews are uneven. Here are two that best sum up how I feel about it. Even Tom and Lorenzo, tow of Tim Gunn's biggest fans, are not impressed:

Project Rungay's "Oh for God's sake will you people LIGHTEN UP?"

Jesus Christ, was that a makeover show or a hostage situation? Could this show be any more devoid of lightness and humor of any kind? One word kept repeating itself in our heads last night over and over as we watched this thing: dreary.

Troy Patterson's "Fashion Don't" review on Slate.com

Thus, it was disappointing, when watching this new makeover fantasy, to discover a new superciliousness in his tone and a noxious haughtiness in his demeanor. Downer! And it was off-putting that Guide to Style takes a soporific hour to reform the dress sense of one single lass. Drag!

The underwear drawer humiliation ritual on the most recent episode was truly appalling. It is bad enough when Trini and Suzannah do it (on BBC's What Not to Wear) but they are much more bawdy. Plus they are able to convey--and this is essential--a comfort in and an appreciation of women's bodies. Tim "zaftig debacle" Gunn does not possess these particular gifts. Going through a woman's underwear drawer is the last thing he should be tasked with doing. It was an unmitigated horror for everyone.

It isn't enough just to like clothes. You also have to like bodies. Imperfect bodies. I don't mean this sexually. I don't think Tim has it in him to really "get" the beauty in the ordinary, flawed, messy, lives and bodies of real women. You just can't get away from his standoffishness -- at times it is more like squeamishness -- toward these people and the lives they lead. There's just too much of a disconnect. It is all too forced: nothing in this show really fits.

design star 2 : kim todd will

2007-09-03T08:32:00.001-07:00

I thought Will's design was the most professional looking. I would watch a show with him as a host. He is a professional designer who has intereting ideas. He is also very warm and relates well to clients on a level that is not just superficial. As I said last week, I like his low-key manner. It would be nice for HGTV to think people can have a show without seeming like lunatic game show hosts.

There is no way I would watch a show hosted by Todd, unless it was to mock it. His manner is too immature and "dude-ly" to be taken seriously. He's like a cartoon. At least it was cold enough in Indiana so that he kept his shirt on. He really doesn't know anything about design and he doesn't seem interested in knowing anything about it. It is all ignorant showmanship. For his Indiana family : he had lots of carpentry ideas (that didn't pan out) but design-wise he mainly put furniture around the room circle (of course there were a few built-in items like a book shelves and a built-in box). I have to admit that the red and orange paint didn't turn out to be as overwhelming as I thought it would. But who wouldn't know that was a load-bearing beam?? His was the least ambitious and the least of the transformations. Todd just has a very limited range. What would have happened if he had ended up with Bridget? I don't think he could get into the mind-set of a 14 year old girl in a wheel chair. And what was the deal with those black satin pants he was wearing at the judging?

I'd be happy to see a show with Kim. Her space-planning does need help. She needed more furniture in that space. However she also had the most amount of work to do. She had to basically rebuild the space: floors, walls, etc. She didn't just paint but hand stained all of the walls. She created a built-in a bar which transformed the space by providing an additional area for living and conversation and connecting the kitchen to the living room. Plus she decorated the dining area and it wasn't part of the plan. It wasn't my style but it probably wasn't Kim's style either and that is the test of a good designer. It is hard to judge in some ways because Kim also didn't have a lot of choice since she was in such a rural area. However, the furniture layout in the end was a problem. I would have also used rugs and pillows to add more color.

One thing I would have done is create an entry area that had a linoleum floor and had a place to leave dirty shoes and coats. It was obviously a problem that you entered immediately on to the carpet! That said, Kim's was the most rewarding transformation to watch.

Kim is such a natural in front of the camera and she is such an appealing person. It seems like she is the obvious choice. I don't even care what they do for the final competition. I know I don't want to watch a show hosted by Todd. Although it would be awfully fun to mock.

design star 2: a few more observations

2007-08-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

continued from comments on Linda Merrill's :: Surroundings :: Blog:

Challenge 5: Designing for a Celebrity

Slogging it Out to the End

I get the sense that Robb isn't actually a designer; I think he has worked installing kitchens and baths. I can't imagine he has been in charge because he doesn't seem skilled enough and he doesn't have the personality skills to work with clients.
I did not like Kim's color choices for the room but the Newton's did and they were working in concert with the other team with a palette from the stones. I have more of a problem with her furniture choice. I thought that the table and chairs were not the right scale.
Todd looks at the space in terms of what he would want: he likes to make things that you can play on but that is not always what is in the best interest of the client. With the spinning platform I would end up with bruises and scrapes on my ankles tripping on it on my way to the sliding doors. It doesn't allow for moving the furniture around for conversation, like bringing another chair up. And it forced them to have smaller furniture in a space that would have allowed for a bigger, more comfortable "couch potato" type of sofa.
Will's presentation style was a refreshing change from the HGTV norm. I find that things on HGTV are often a bit too over-the-top peppy. His low-key manner made him seem comfortable in front of the camera. All of the others were bouncing around a bit too much.

design star melt down

2007-08-25T14:56:00.000-07:00

note: these are continued from comments on Linda Merrill's Surrounding's Blog

At this point we watch the show the way you rubberneck a crash on the freeway. We watch to see how they are going to top themselves this week. You think it can't get worse but then it does.

THE THRILL IS GONE
Sparkle Josh is gone. The life has been sucked out of Will, the most professional designer on the show. The atmosphere is ugly and the design challenges are ugly. The judges are drooling over a couple of blowhard jerks and putting the two most talented and professional designers -- Will and Josh -- up on the chopping block. Remember the first episode? I still like the idea of the "Will and Josh / Ebony and Ivory" show.

WILL & JOSH: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
I think that the judges created a situation that made it impossible for Josh and Will to succeed. The dynamic of the personalities drained the life from Josh and Will. The macho bullying of Todd and Robb was taking its toll. It actually seemed like Josh was relieved to get out of there. I can't blame him. I suspect Will would have been glad to get out of there as well.

The stars of the show are a couple of dickheads that enjoy crowing and bellowing and high-fiving and chest thumping and circle jerking around the set. However, the judges find them charming. WTF? All I can say is, "eewwww." Not. My. Type. They should have gotten rid of Robb the first week -- and Todd soon after. He's better for Mtv Road Rules.

MAJOR TOOLS
(or over-compensating is just another way of saying how much you care. did I say care? I meant fear. fear and loathing. and sexual panic.)
Todd and Robb are repugnant, especially Robb. (My husband even said that he seems like someone who is abusive.) Todd? He has strong carpentry and art skills but he honestly seems like he might be a bit retarded. He needs to start wearing a helmet and taking his ritalin.

Here's the thing: at a certain age, and with a certain level of aggression, boyish enthusiasm converts into macho thuggery. It's called growing up. Being civilized. Acting a certain way -- off of the rugby playing field -- is just being a lout.

And not for nothing but this all REEKS of homophobia.

HGTV: DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR AUDIENCE IS?
Who does HGTV think is watching? I don't want to watch a tv show that shows testosterone-addled morons constanting beating down two more sensitive, talented adult professional men. Who would hire these guys who speak and behave like pre-pubescent boys? Are they seriously going to give Robb his own show? Is the douchebag audience for HGTV that substantial? If Todd wins then they will have picked two designers in a row who go around shirtless. Next season why don't we just call it "Beafcake Design Star"?

Note: David's personality could not be more different from Todd's. He listens. He is warm. He has a rapport with women. He is secure enough who he is that he doesn't need macho posturing. He is an adult. He is a professional. Although it is more professional to keep one's shirt on.

DESIGN STAR DRINKING GAME
Here's an idea for a drinking game: every scene when Todd doesn't have his shirt on, take a shot.

MOST HILARIOUS MOMENTS: OR WHY SOME MEN ARE SINGLE
For physical comedy obviously we had the moment when that table flipped over on Todd. I was hoping it would hit him in the head. Or the nuts. For sheer irony we had Robb lecturing Christina on what weddings should be like. That was priceless. So what if his [tacky not-to-scale boa-festooned] design won, when it comes to women, that dude is CLUELESS!!!

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO HAVE A WINNER?
Linda Merrill's blog has a poll that shows that at this point most people think that nobody should win Design Star. Will is the most talented and professional. But that fact seems to have escaped the notice of all of the judges who are too impressed with the Major Tools. But Will has really been worn down by the ugliness of Todd and Robb. They have been beating up on him from the second episode. Of course once he has escaped the bullies and has his own show I would imagine he's be back to his smiling upbeat self. (With his lovely assistant Sparkle Josh??!! PleasePleasePlease!!!)

KIM-POSSIBLE?
One woman is left, god love her. Kim -- the most upbeat woman in the world --is hanging in there. Maybe she can hold on until the end. But I'm not optimistic.I think that Kim could be the one person who could redeem the show. She's the HGTV viewer: the woman who has learned how to be a designer from watching HGTV.

meanwhile . . .

2007-08-07T15:43:00.001-07:00

I'm a bit behind here because it's been an exciting week in the world of letters.

First, Charles Simic was appointed Poet Laureate.

Second, the most delicious full blown batshit crazy scandal hit the world of blogs and you just have to read it to believe it. Only writers can do this kind of stuff to each other--and themselves. When they invite us to the party it is fun to watch the fireworks -- and the bonfire. And this is one stinking pile of vanities that is going up in flames. Read about it here.

And finally I've got some decent research work that is naturally a huge rush job so I won't be able to turn my attention to the really important matters like:

how Sparkle Josh is the only reason for watching Design Star (just give him his own show and be done with it!) or
how horrifying those kitchens were (that hideous water feature! that faux painting! how could anyone keep their food down in that environment?)
and DON'T GET ME STARTED on this whole "Tuscany" thing The Olive Garden as Ye Olde Italie or
Dis'in Dat's discussion of "seriously ugly" and illustration of an actual Tuscan kitchen or
Linda Merrill's more reasoned and tactful approach to the many, many disasters

And that isn't even getting into:

how fabulous Amuse Biatch posts have been: each more packed with gossip and wit and innuendo than the next . . .

Although at least I was able to talk about Eric3K's new foray into the home improvement market...

before I disappear back into the series of tubes . . .

best ever home improvement posting

2007-08-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

This is the story about a man with a dream

and very fetching bright yellow towel.

Here are the best set of instructions for a home improvement project

ever:

Extreme Eric Three Thousand: Home Edition!

It provides the usually witty commentary we've all come to know and love from Eric3K:

"Why pay a plumber when you can do a thoroughly unprofessional job yourself?"

plus helpful and hilarious photographs:

don't ask why

This time Eric3K and Other Eric have decided to use their talents for good and not evil: i.e., to explain and illustrate a successful how-to project for upgrading your bathroom.

I don't want to give too much away so I've just cut out some teasers:

Just click on the helping hands.

design star 1: the design

2007-08-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

BEDROOMS

This is clearly the best space. It is a nice color palette. Simple, streamlined, uncluttered.
The walls are graphically interesting and three dimensional. I really like their attention to lighting (with one caveat discussed below).

It was a difficult task given how many beds they needed to get into that room.

The second room is also fine. I like the medallions on the wall.
The colors are a bit of a mish-mash but given all the problems they had working together (more on that later) it turned out better than I expected. The curtains are a very good idea in terms of privacy and light issues. A lot of the designers had a problem with over-accessorizing.

Both bedrooms have some basic practical problems with proper bedside tables and reading lights. I also would have gotten some low baskets or boxes to slide under the bed for storage of a few small items (slippers, tissue, moisterizer, book, pen, sketchbook, nightlight, sex toys, ha ha, etc.).

MAIN FLOOR

First of all, I don't think they did a space plan which was a HUGE MISTAKE.
Is that another eating area at the end of the room? I don't quite understand the layout of the space. It does seem a shame to have used up a cool hanging-out space for dining but I have to admit that it looks nice. I really don't like the lighting fixture.

This is ridiculous. Who is going to use this? It isn't private enough for meditation. It isn't comfortable enough for conversation. And the white covers will get dirty fast. This also falls into the problem of not having a space plan.

My eyes! My eyes! Those pillows are hideous.

The built organic shape is a nice start. But where was it going? Robb was mad at Josh about this but it didn't seem like Robb had any ideas himself. This shows the problem with the group not doing an overall space plan. The space is a yawning empty cavern.

Which leads to the entrance below. The entrance is an entrance. There was nothing more problematic with this space than with any other space on the main floor as it all flowed together into one big confused area.
The problem with this is 1. ugly colors. 2. ugly art. Someone needed to just say that this was going to be too trashy looking. And what they hell is the deal with "The Rats"?? That's just not nice. They are professionals. This looks like some teenager got to turn the unfinished basement into their bedroom.

The bar and stairs: that paint job is awful. Really awful. A real pro would have looked at that wall and known better than to have tried to paint it. Not replacing that hideous light fixture was a major mistake. I don't like the grey and coral palette. Black and red are rather overdone.
What is the problem with these designers and light fixtures? Sparkle and Will were the only ones who paid attention to this. That's very basic. Neerja couldn't find bar stools, didn't replace the light, didn't finish the painting. What was she doing? However, in Neerja's defense: she handled the money and budget and she did that well. We've seen what happens when someone doesn't handle that well.

We now address my two favorite contributions. And by favorite I mean the first items that I would put outside on the curb. First, the skateboard ramp. It appears to be well built. It is finished. However, it is ridiculous. No one else is going to use it. No one else looked at the space and said: "I'm going to make something that only I can use." I can't believe the judges were impressed by this. This is carpentry but how is it interior design? If this is what it takes to impress the judge then half the teenage boys in California can be on Design Star.
I will say this: the hammock is a nice idea in front of all those windows and under the palms but why did he get such a cheap one? He should have gotten a much nicer, more comfortable hammock that is easier to use. And one that is for two. But I suspect this is a dude that hasn't thought much about that sort of thing.

And last of all, and least of all, there is the hanging car door:

WTF?

The fact that Robb is still on the show and Lisa was kicked off is proof that they just want to keep someone on who will create conflict. Lisa was just too nice.

Links:

design star 1: designers

2007-08-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

THE DESIGNERS

Let me start with the best. I had already decided last week that Josh Johnson was the reason I was going to watch Design Star. My only problem this week is that we didn't get enough of him.

Josh J ("Sparkle" -- fabulous!) and Will are going to be the ones for the win. I'm ready to just call them the winners now. They would make a fabulous show together: ebony and ivory. That is hilarious. And they are both such sweeties! It just shows you how two people with very different sensibilities can work together if they are really good designers and put the project ahead of their own egos.

Josh and Will

I really hope that Design Star focuses attention on these two. They both have very strong (in a good way) personalities. They are both very funny. And they are talented designers. What more can you ask for??

Will Smith has a Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice and African American and African Studies from the University of North Carolina. So Will gets a major plus in my book for having a solid well-rounded education from an excellent university. I think we will see this is a big asset for him as a designer.

Josh Johnson Fun Facts: Something you'd never guess about me: I was once a probation officer. Unusual skills: Clogging. Childhood dream: Flying Wonder Woman's invisible jet. That is a wacky combination of skills and interests!

If this doesn't work out Will and Josh can go into business as private detectives since they both have backgrounds in criminal justice. Instead of Starsky and Hutch they'd be Sparkle and Smith!

Josh & Scott

These two are my second choice after JoshJ and Will because of their previous work. They both have experience and interests that I think would be a good focus for HGTV. Josh works on Green Design and I think HGTV should do a show about this. Scott likes California ranch and that's one of my favorite styles.

Josh Foss Fun Fact: Favorite designer: Charles and Ray Eames. "My dad worked for them back in the early 1960s." That's another major plus in my book!

Kim Adrianna Lisa

I need to see what Kim and Adrianna can do but they have the personalities that would be great to host a show. Lisa seemed like she had a good personality for hosting the show. The skunk hair would have to go. (1983 called and wanted it back.) But her work was disappointing. Kim would be great because she represents the HGTV viewer. She is someone who does crafts -- who watches the shows and then does the projects that are shown on the shows. I think it would be really cool if she won because she would be proof of the DIY ethos of the network. Both Kim and Adrianna have the upbeat can-do spirit targetted at women and especially at women of color and women who may just be starting out or who don't have experience.

Neerja and Christina

AKA Miss Migraine and Miss Negativity. These two do not have the personalities to host a show. They are very grating. Neerja did not crack a smile once. She looked so tense I thought she might shatter into pieces. I have to hand it to Adriana for putting up with Christina because she was wearing down my last nerve. Christina keeps talking about her "two little ones" (and that's getting old fast) and her "no no no" attitude sounded like she had been spending a little too much time around toddlers.

todd and robb

click here

major tools

2007-08-02T10:04:00.001-07:00

todd & robb

As irritating as Neerja and Christina were, that was nothing compared to Todd and Robb. These two are not designers. Top Design has to stop picking people like this to be on the show. It is what makes the show such an amateur hour. This is what makes the show potentially unwatchable to someone like me. Seriously. Life is too short. I have yet to hear a coherent noise emamate from them. I heard yelling, bullying and sound/words like "whoo" and "cool" and "dude".

Who is the Design Star Major Tool?

(click on images for close up of text)

my new favorite blog

2007-07-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

princess sparkle pony

"I keep track of Condoleezza's hairdo so you don't have to."

It's like Wonkette + Barbie + My Little Pony.

Recent posts include some great material commemorating Tammy Faye including audio from a children's album (of Bible songs and stories) that Tammy and Jim recorded in the 1970s and described in this way:

This fantastic album consists of ten songs sung in a shrieky fake little girl voice and two stories told by Jim 'n' Tammy and all their puppetland friends. The stories are my favorites, because the musical background is so off-the-wall, at points it almost sounds like Captain Beefheart is providing the accompaniment.

The Princess also scores an exclusive interview with one of John McCain's "notoriously gay sweaters":

PSP: Were you the first gay sweater on his staff?
MGS: No, there were others. There was a small coterie of gay outerwear ...

Check out the educational posts on Fashion/Beauty history such as the evolution of Harriet Miers hairdo. (Shear Genius take note.)

Want more? Hilarious photoshopping.

design star starts tonight

2007-07-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

And Linda Merrill at Chameleon Interiors is blogging! So we are going to get some informed commentary. She already has her first post up and it looks like the second season contestants have been given much nicer digs than last year:

Design Star vs Top Design
There were ways that I enjoyed Design Star more than Top Design. While there is no substitute for Todd Oldham (be still my heart), Clive is a fine host, and the judges lacked some of the pretentiousness of the TD judges. (That was what I liked about Todd, is his lack of pretentiousness...but he was the exception to the rule.)

The contestents on Top Design were stronger and more professional and TD had bigger budgets. However, they weren't always more imaginative than Design Star. At least with Design Star the contestants got out of those white boxes!!!

Plus the amateurism of the DS contestants made the show more amusing. Who can forget that woman who seemed like a crazy homeless person who just picked up trash on the street. I still suspect that she just wandered into the set and they let her stay for the first episode.

Note: Linda Merrill's first "sneak peak" post has a good discussion of the problems with the first season of Design Star.

Color Splash
I have to say that the biggest disappointment with Design Star was the show (Color Splash) that they created for the winner, David Bromstad. Even though David was the obvious winner and he was great on the competition show, I thought the show they created for him was unwatchable. Furthermore, I was surprised by how much he annoyed the bejesus out of me on his own show. Everyone -- but especially David -- was insanely peppy and excited about everything. It was ridiculous. There is a difference between being warm and enthusiastic and looking like a friggin' moron.

The work David did on the competition seemed a lot more innovative than what he did on the show. I think on the show he was restrained by having to use products from certain stores.Also his color palettes were rich but not interesting. Sometimes they were just dark. They seemed really traditional, especially after seeing what designers like Matt did with color on Top Design (for example -- my top ten list). The entire show was too too tooo much. It needed to be toned down a notch. Or two. Or ten.

Design Star 2
But now we have the second season:

And oh my. I just gave this a perusal and it looks like it could be fun ... perhaps even hilarious (wait for it ... below).

First of all, they have gone to central casting and found their stereotypical southern belle, aged 30, with a high school education, who has lived out her childhood dream "to marry my Prince Charming and have children."

Ain't she sweet

Judging from her interview we can expect pearls of wisdom to fall from her lips.

But

here

is

the

kicker ...

I can't believe it's not butter.

I'm speechless.

And I can't wait to watch.

visit the photoshop of horrors

2007-07-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

First of all . . .

For those of you who haven't yet seen it, this past week Jezebel has had a fabulous series of posts entitled "Photoshop of Horrors" regarding a recent cover of Redbook magazine featuring Faith Hill. They offered 10K to anyone who could get them a copy of a pre-photoshopped image of the cover. The result created quite a buzz. I've put links to the posts below.

and yet they couldn't do anything about that hideous dress?

In contrast to Faith Hill (who is aging beautifully and does not need the distortions of Photoshop) there are the stars who are constantly getting plastic surgery in desperate attempts to look younger. Supposedly they would need less Photoshopping but I suspect that in practice the reverse is true.

JUST ADDED: For a recent discussion of Hollywood stars and plastic surgery check out Ms. Place's new post on her Dishin Dat blog:

Beauty is as Beauty Does

If nothing else it will scare you off of getting a chemical peel. Ow! Ow! Ow!

On the other hand . . .

"The Photoshopping experts at PlanetHiltron.com have done the opposite of Redbook and given some of today's biggest boldfaced names "normal" makeovers, which, according to the Daily Mail, means they've made to look like your run-of-the-mill, fashion-challenged, badly-coiffed, fat Americans." ( Keira Knightley: Just Like Us? | Jezebel.com )

Check it out. The images are hilarious:

Tori and Candy Spelling

And finally . . .

If ever we needed a warning against combining drugs and plastic surgery, Gawker brings us Courtney Love...

Warning: do not go to this link on a full stomach. My favorite comment:

Wow, has she been working out? Look how defined her arm muscle is...oh, my bad. That's just her skin sliding off. (MISSGOLIGHTLY AT 07/13/07 06:27 PM)

all tim all the time

2007-07-18T15:56:00.000-07:00

updated 07.19.07

Let's talk overexposure.

He's everywhere. Magazines, television, web. He's on red carpets. He's on Oprah. He's on Kathy Griffin introducing Paula Abdul as the greatest woman on the face of fashion. He's selling the book. He's selling the new show. He's selling the new company. He's selling cars. He's selling salad dressing for chrissakes! (WTF?)

Everything he does is breathlessly discussed and repromoted online and in talk show and infotainment interviews.

He has an opinion on everything ... and I mean everything.

(Including a few things he may want to keep to himself ... but whatever. He sounds like an expert and that's what counts... and we're only talking about women's body images here -- so no big deal, right?)

For the Gunnophiles all this is great.

For the rest of us (or maybe it's just me) . . . not so much.

I am actually not all that interested in the new Tim Gunn show. He keeps claiming his show is going to be "different" from other fashion makeover shows but I have yet to see anything that convinces me of that.

I am interested in fashion design. I liked Project Runway because it showed the creative practice of innovative new fashion designers at work. At this point, I think that Project Runway could indeed exist without Tim Gunn. Yeah Tim is great in that role but deep down inside haven't we all heard "make it work" just one too many times?

Wouldn't it be fun to see Laura Bennett's droll eyerolls and wicked "Bad Mommy" comments? And she is someone who actually knows how things work. She is someone who has serious training in the history of design as well as technique. Or what about Uncle Nick?

I'm just saying that Tim Gunn isn't totally irreplaceable. I think Bravo is making a mistake if they think that he is the reason people watch Project Runway. Call me crazy but I think the work of the designers is more interesting than the personality of Gunn or Klum or Kors.

Gunn's priorities are obviously with himself. Fair enough. I just hope that he -- with Bravo's assistance -- doesn't crush Project Runway in pursuit of them.

His makeover show may be a "lead-in" for Project Runway for some people but fashion makeover shows are a completely different genre. And they are really depressing. They ultimately end up being infantilizing and condescending. (With Tim in charge I can't imagine this will improve -- I mean he is the personification of haughty. That's partly what makes him such a hoot.)

I got hooked on watching Project Runway (and Top Design, etc) because it was creative and challenging. If I wanted to I could watch this other kind of programming on E! or Lifetime (celebrity, run-of-the-mill reality, women's daytime programming). I think that by focusing on promoting Tim as a star rather than on the actual creative work done on Project Runway Bravo is risking the very audience it gained from its innovative programming.

On the other hand, Bravo could always go in this direction (click image for link):

two questions about project runway

2007-07-18T15:24:00.000-07:00

1. Why was it delayed? Why did they skip a season? Was it because of the Tim Gunn negotiations? Was it because they couldn't find enough good contestants?

2. Inevitably there is some energy lost by the show being off for this long in between seasons. Do you think it will be able to recover or do you think it is not going to be quite the same hit that it was by the end of the third season?

kiss my capris

2007-07-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

deposing the rules of fashion

When Tim Gunn was a guest on the "Oprah" show, he provided six fashion rules for "mature" women (mature = over-40). Older women should never wear:

Pleated pants
Low-rise jeans
Horizontal stripes
Jackets that hit at mid-thigh
Double-breasted blazers
Capri-length pants

I call bullshit.

First of all, since when did being old start at 40? Jeez! This puts some women who are having their first child into the same age category as great grandmothers. This isn't the 1950s. Age groupings for women have changed considerably. Women are very active -- working, athletic, travelling -- well into their seventies today. In some fields women are just getting their careers going in their 40s.

I confess that I have always hated any sort of these lists of rules. Dos and don'ts. Like most of these kinds of dictates I have an innate tendency to see them primarily as there to be broken. They are a mainstay for hack copy in fashion magazines but there is nothing original or fresh about them.

These specific six rules are about what is flattering to body shape as well as what is in fashion at present. Pleated pants and double breasted blazers are not overly youthful. They are just not especially flattering or currently fashionable. Horizontal stripes are widening. Based on the assumption that no woman under age 40 buys clothes from Liz Claiborne, I will use summer fashions from Tim's new employer to demonstrate the problems with these rules.

1. Pleated pants - no one should wear these. Ever.

mo pleats mo fugly

2. Low-rise jeans : women under 22 shouldn't wear these--and not very many of them can get away with it either. I'm not convinced that they are a particularly attractive look for even the best of figures. It is just a cut that can't quite get away from the idea of "cheap and slutty":

On the other hand, Liz Claiborne is well known for perpetrating the style crime of mom jeans and those are just as bad.

3. Horizontal stripes -- This rule is ridiculous. The principle is one based on body shape not age.
Here is the thing with fashion rules: even the people who make them don't follow them. Tim's very own Oprah makeover selected a dress with a horizontal stripe pattern for a woman who had just given birth to twins:
And a striped top can look fine on a larger body:

Omygod! Is she wearing capri length pants?!

In fact, it would seem that this season's Liz Claiborne plus size collection breaks every one of Tim Gunn's rules.

4. Jackets that hit at mid-thigh : Frankly I don't even understand what this rule is about. The look would depend on the particular outfit and the cut of the jacket:

Here is an example from LC's plus size collection:
This is a fine casual or light exercise outfit but the problem I see with the LC collection is that it is dowdy and it hides women's curves rather than highlights them.

It will be interesting to see how Gunn will approach this area at Liz Claiborne given Tim's well-known "issues" with the bodies of zaftig women (i.e., any woman over a size 4 and/or any woman with fleshy curves).

And that place needs some help. After a while the LC collection started to really depress me. The idea that they wanted women to dress this way. I think they got some of their fabric ideas from somebody's great grandmother's old davenport:

Yes, it's metallic too!

If you must have a rule how about this one: don't wear fabric that might be used to upholster furniture at a funeral home. But I digress . . .

5. Double-breasted blazers: these aren't in fashion now. Just as with pleated pants, the "rules" don't have to do with age. There is nothing overly youthful about a double-breasted blazer, mid-thigh jackets or horizontal stripes. They have to do with style, cut, and shape and what is in fashion.

6. Capri-length pants : This is the one that really gets me. I thought about naming this post: "kiss my capri wearing ass." Sure capris are not the best for short legs. But capris are a fashion staple -- there's no getting away from them either at the gym or in the summer (especially at the beach). Even with short legs capri-length works especially if you are wearing the same color on the top. So shoot me.

Here are LC's cropped pants selections.

I don't care what age you are.

These pants are fugly!

On the other hand, here are Eileen Fisher's:

To die for... and they come in petite.

Eileen Fisher targets the same age group as LC and is similar in price range (slightly higher but not by much). Nonetheless, Eileen Fisher has a much more youthful and fashionable and versatile look.

It is one that is not beset by the kind of mindset that has fashion "rules" about what you can and can't wear at a certain age. In fact the company is based on thinking about women and fashion in a manner that is opposed to these kinds of restrictions.

Frankly, if Tim Gunn really wants to reinvigorate LC he is going to have to change the way that he thinks about fashion... and women.

two posts from 02.05.07:

tg on how runway models should look (after the tyra banks discussion):
continued commentary on the preference for heroin chic / boyish body type in fashion

fashion rules that never change

2007-07-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

"Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses!"

From Tim Gunn's makeover sessions on Oprah:

What makes this particularly pathetic is that
Liz Claiborne has its own line of eyewear:

Tim Gunn, the great shillmeister, missed a perfect
chance to promote a product from his new employer!

how many rock stars does it take to change a light bulb?

2007-07-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

"Like most Americans I like to help people while being on tv."
- Maria Bamford

Here's the thing about Live Earth:

I just don't need household tips on cutting down on my use of resources from people who live far more lavish lives than I could ever imagine, thank you very much.

Here are a few things that ordinary people who are living within a budget do not need to learn from movie and rock stars:

Turn off the light. Put on a sweater if you are cold. You don't need that. You can use that again. Make it yourself. Give it to someone who needs it. Leave a place as clean as you found it.

Photograph by Russell Lee | Library of Congress : American Memory

Some people do this because they are worried about being able to afford to pay the bills rather than because they want to save the environment.

Hollywood telling ordinary Americans how to conserve resources is outrageous.

Americans telling this to people in Brazil is offensive.

Okay. It's fine if Hollywood and rock stars want to support environmental causes and use their celebrity to draw people to events. This is part of the fundraising world.

However, the various forms of hypocrisy do get a little hard to swallow: did Sheryl Crow sing her SUV-promoting song "Every Day is a Winding Road?" Seriously: when you are making fistfuls of money off of promoting SUVs can you really call yourself an environmentalist?

I know I'm being cynical. And I'm not the target for Live Earth. I was more the Live Aid generation. I do realize that telling people to use energy-saving light bulbs is a way of making people feel like they are helping and that is important. Even more important is spreading awareness of the larger political issues that have to do with oil companies, car companies, governments, the Kyoto accord, the world bank, rain forests, global poverty, etc.

The biggest problem with Americans on an individual level is our use of gas guzzling cars. Changing that has to do with developing and improving mass transportation systems and smaller cars. And then getting Americans to change their habits and start using them. I'm not holding my breath. Maybe this generation will change. It is a little hard to believe they will when the icons that are preaching to them are also flying private jets and promoting SUVs.

We need a government that is far more committed to providing people with what they need in order to conserve whether it be recycling programs or investment in making alternative energy resources not just feasible but cheap. (By the way, do all of the performers at Live Earth -- the people who can afford to do this -- have homes that run on alternative energy?) I don't need tips on how to conserve energy. I know how to do this. Here is what I do need: affordable solar energy. I would like to be able to afford to install solar panels. Ahem, Governor Schwarzenegger (link: why is arnold at live earth?).

lana turner has collapsed

2007-06-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

I am away for a week and the fools* over at Project Gay's Dames and Diva's Deathmatch voted for Eve Arden over Lana Turner.

(*I'm not talking about T&L of course: they simply provided the venue where the foolishness unfolded.)

Leaving aside the utter genius of Imitation of Life (books have been written on this) . . .

First, I do have to wonder, since the web site is called Project Gay, if being a fabulous drama queen still counts for something anymore? But more importantly I have to point out that Lana Turner holds a special place in the pantheon of Hollywood dames: there is no other diva who has been honored at the literary level of being the subject of one of Frank O'Hara's Lunch Poems.

Frank O’Hara, as I'm sure you all know, was a New York School poet and something of a gay icon (well, as much as a poet is iconic to anyone these days). In his “Poem (Lana Turner has collapsed!)” -- one of his most famous and funniest -- he writes about Lana Turner who is (or was – obviously she is less well known these days) something of a gay icon. I thought every gay man could recite this poem. It's on the Agenda, isn't it?

Click here for more information on Frank O'Hara including the text of "Poem (Lana Turner has collapsed!)" and a brief interpretation of the poem as defining the "gay diva". There is some information on Lana Turner as well.

This is from his classic book -- Lunch Poems. Of course every English major has a copy of the Lunch Poems. Right? You did come to class prepared didn't you? I know, I know. I'm looking at gaps in education that result in Dr. [Jesus wept] Boogie thinking that Tyson was Amish (the mind reels) and yet I expect people to have committed to memory works by New York School poets.

Sigh. I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.

tim gunn : emperor of his domain

2007-05-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

from the Journal of Grown Men in Silly Costumes, aka House and Garden.

"Welcome to my opium den."

The mandarin in his dragon robe.

(I could swear this is a character from one of
E. F. Benson's Mapp and Lucia novels. )

It has been a while since I've checked in over at Blogging Project Runway but I'm glad I went to the site today because now can't stop giggling.

It all makes sense now. Tim Gunn has adopted the anglophilic mannerisms of the upperclass English; it is only natural that he would also have a longing for a return to the Age of Empire.

He's sort of a cross between Sherlock Holmes and Dorian Grey. They were both aesthetes with a sharp eye and an unsparing tongue. They were also characters "coded" as homosexual although not "out" per se. (Both of them also had a penchant for opium.)

At any rate, that photograph is awesome: is that not the expression of a man who is "pleased as punch"?? His smiling pink face is like the little occidental cherry on top of the layers and layers of orientalist cake.

And the pièce de résistance: the bow tie.

Oh, Tim. You slay me.

NOTES
1. Click here to go to the House and Garden online article.
2. To see the large color pages of the article click here: page 1 and page 2
3. His robe is vintage Miao (Hmong). These are still affordable to more modest collectors (in the hundreds of dollars rather than hundreds of thousands dollars). However, as with most folk artists and native peoples the Hmong have been exploited by dealers and collectors. So if you do purchase their textiles, purchase from the Hmong themselves or ask the dealer if the profits have been shared with the Hmong people.
4. I'm fascinated by this (at right) 19th century Chinese portrait in Tim's apartment. It's stunning. I think that a closer examination would reveal an interesting interplay between western and eastern styles of dress and needlework (I'm especially interested in the millinary) but it is hard to tell from the photograph.
5. Further recommended reading: Sarah Cheang. "Selling China: Class, Gender and Orientalism and the Department Store." Journal of Design History Vol 20. No 1. 2007. 1-16. (If I have a chance I'll put it with my material in the art/design/fashion department.)

slap happy

2007-04-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

How I Met Your Mother: Slap Bet

I remember watching the first episode of How I Met Your Mother and thinking, eh, I don't need this additional half hour sucked out of my life by television along with all the others, so I passed on watching this and didn't give it another thought--until this week when my husband, after reading a second rave review on tvsquad, recorded the rerun of HIMYM's "Slap Bet" episode (1st tvsquad episode review).

Because I am too impatient I watched it just to see what all the fuss was about before my husband got home. O. M. G. This is one of the funniest sitcom episodes EVER. If you want to get technical you can start ranking the various Seinfeld and Simpsons and what-not but what I'm saying is that I rarely watch something that is so hilarious that I want to save it on the disk so I can watch it again during the week because it makes me laugh so much. (The last time I did that was with Maria Bamford's half hour special on Comedy Special.)

When I watched the episode for the second time I twas waiting to see my husband's reaction: his mouth dropped open in hilarity and disbelief, rocking in the chair in paroxisms of laughter. I was not disappointed. Of course I was doing the same. I was mainly waiting for the Robin Sparkles moment at the end. It is so crazy that you tend to forget that what leads up to it is also brilliant comedy writing and acting. Watching the episode again allowed me to appreciate the first half more. It could stand alone as a great episode even without the video at the end.

In addition you need to watch the "Robin Sparkles" video several times because there is a lot of stuff in it and the first time you see it you are laughing so hard that you miss most of the lyrics. The second time around you catch things you missed the first time but if you are familiar with eighties fashion and music videos you will want to watch it again for various references and details.

However, everything in the episode is spot-on. There is not one wasted line. The entire Slap Bet plot line allows for some of the best sitcom slapstick (literally) I've seen. There are the slaps themselves which are unique expressions of character: Barney's fast stings versus Marshall's brute blows. And there are the reactions, especially when Marshall starts to tear up and covers his face which leads to this classic recess exchange:

Barney: Are you crying?
Marshall: No. You are.

Another gem is Lilly as Slap Bet Commissioner devising new rules for all of Barney and Marshall's violations, i.e., "premature slapulation."

Woven into the theme is the debate about couples sharing too much or too little with each other. Marshall and Lilly tell each other everything. This can be interesting, as we learn that Marshall won't go to the Pacific Northwest because of Sasquatch. ("I'm not afraid, I just think we need to be aware.") We also learn that sharing everything with each other is also utterly, nauseatingly annoying and worse yet, boring.

Robin won't tell Ted her secret about why she won't go to the mall. Each buddy has a theory about Robin's secret. Barney's is that Robin did "porn -- wait for it -- ography." Marshall's theory is that she is already married at a mall in Canada. (One of my favorite details was Ted's claim that he looked it up on the "Canadian Mall Marriages 6000" database.)

Robin's secret allows for a few good jabs at Canada in the first part of the episode (e.g., maybe Canadian marriages are like Canadian money: no one really takes it seriously) but we have to wait for the end of the episode for that motif to fully bloom.

The final disclosure is the video of the song "Let's Go to the Mall" that Robin made when she was a teenage pop star in Canada who toured and sang in malls as "Robin Sparkles." Robin Sparkles has her own my space page so you can watch the entire video, which has so many hysterically funny elements that I would be describing the entire video just to list them. Just watch it. (I will just mention that I particularly liked the Maple Leaf "Canada Day" bad body roll dance element and the addition of the robot was inspired 80's idiocy.)

However. this is an episode that is so well written that it is worth seeing the whole setup. Also, the group's conversation about the video is priceless: "Hey everyone Robin is rapping!"

Marshall: This was in the '90s. Why does this look like it's from 1986?
Robin: Because the '80s didn't come to Canada until like '93.

Oh Canada, Our Great Mittened Neighbor of the North. We mock because there is no good reason for us to do so. And yet we do it anyway. And it is funny. Life is cruel.

venus reclining

2007-04-15T16:23:00.000-07:00

Pink Goddess

I'm always so busy reading Linda Merrill's posts on her ::surroundings blog that I don't take the time to look at the sidebar. But this reclining goddess caught my eye, naturally, and I had to follow it's trail to Linda's etsy shop for her chameleon interiors business.

You have to love this pillow of the goddess Aphrodite (or Venus) reclining. Seriously, you will love it -- the Goddess of Love demands it.

The wedding season is coming up and there are all those bridal showers to go to but you don't need an excuse to get one of these. It's simply divine.

Also, j'adore this French postcard pillow:

Les Voyages en France

Click on the item or check out the main page and her other hand-made pillows at the chameleon interiors shop.

margaret russell : observation 10

2007-04-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |
OBSERVATION | 8 |
OBSERVATION | 9 |

OBSERVATIONS 10 - 1
[posted in descending order]

| 10 |

The Love Song of Margaret "Elle" Russell

Even in its nearly gutted condition,
the loft was seductive . . .

. . . with a gutsy, industrial feel
and walls of amazing windows.

I visited while
shopping at the nearby
wholesale flower market.

He paired
deep aubergine walls
with a glittery chandelier.

Stunning and stunningly expensive,
his bath is
...................just plain sexy.

I was surprised that I was so
crazy for that
...................round sunken bed.

the marie antoinette

2007-04-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

Matt's idea of basing his design for Lily's room on the concept of "Marie Antoinette" is a brilliantly wickedly creative and chic solution to the "you want to be a princess" mantra that is being shoved down the throats of every little girl from every direction of our consumer culture. They are powerless against it. (See links below.)

Perhaps Matt could market this decor with the slogan:

The Marie Antoinette :
the room your little princess will lose her head over

Links

What’s Wrong With Cinderella? One mother's struggle with her 3-year-old daughter's love affair with princess culture. By PEGGY ORENSTEIN The New York Times Magazine | December 24, 2006

For more go to my post "consuming girls" which has links to other postings and articles related to the topic.

finale | the best

2007-04-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

in no particularly significant order

super todd
In my constant pursuit of more ways to have Todd Time I think that it would have been nice to see him do home visits like Tim does on Project Runway.

the santa fe building windows
I don't think that either designer lived up to the architecture -- although Carisa did better than Matt in that regard.

carisa's use of repeating squares
This touchstone of Carisa's style worked well for the space, picking up on the windows. I have a few quibbles: she might have varied it or broken it up to pick up on some of the other aspects of the architecture -- the transoms for example. I also thought it was a bit heavy as a divider (breaking up that lovely expanse of windows). I also hate to see the grid below go empty of books when it looks like such a great reading corner. I also like the introduction of browns and beiges.

matt's grandfather's prints
I thought that the red tint was an especially nice touch.

matt's work style
He's a pro. (You can see why Carisa is in such a panic: even with all of Matt's organization things can still get crazy.) It probably says more about me that watching another hyper-planner at work is what I consider good television. Ooooh! Look at his office supplies!!! I wish they'd zoom in on his tabs so I can see how he color-codes! And honestly -- I'm curious about the slides. What are the slides for? I thought art historians were the only ones who used slides anymore.

carisa's bed
(and jonathan, margaret in it)
Margaret getting into the bed and realizing that she liked it is up there with Alexis Arquette on the swing as one of the great moments on Top Design. Jonathan saying that he "could really get up to some mischief!" in Carisa's bed may be the best quote of the show.

lily's room
What a dream room for a little girl. I would have died for this room. Jeez. A part of me still wants this room! Note: you only see a corner of it but that rug is adorable.

matt and ed
This was so cute. If we learned anything from top design we learned that the designer is only as good as their carpenter.

carisa's attitude
Carisa seemed honest about saying that it was best for Matt to win because she still felt like a winner whereas if she had won Matt would have been devastated. That would be an egotistical thing to say if it weren't for the fact that it is true. Carisa was very generous-spirited about the competition which made me feel like she was well on her way towards developing the personal maturity she needs in order to become a successful professional designer. At any rate she was so gracious in defeat that she did win the hearts of viewers.

finale | the worst

2007-04-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

in no particularly significant order

matt and carisa's underwhelming black and white palettes
Carisa's is okay -- the pops of red help . . . I guess. It just isn't very subtle or interesting.
Elegant, yes. But where is that delicate sense of color I admire so much? And while I'm at it, what happened to the floor snob?

boring kitchens with expensive appliances
The judges were critical of Matt's and excited about Carisa's, but I can't see much of a difference between the two.

the fuss over matt's bathroom
I can't see how purple walls and a chandelier makes it so thrillingly sexy. Frankly I liked Carisa's better, although I wouldn't want to use that mirror for putting on makeup.

environmentalists with eight mansions
Here's the thing: I'm sure she's a wonderful and creative person who does a lot of really great things and there are lots of mega-rich wives of rock stars and movie stars who are fatuous twats whose sole purpose is to consume and waste as much as possible and compared to them Trudie Styler should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Nonetheless, if the show is only able to get D-list celebrities do they have to over-hype them so that they sound like geniuses and/or saints? And could we perhaps reserve the term "humanitarian" for those rare individuals who have truly sacrificed themselves for the good of humanity rather than applying it to any celebrity who participates in a variety of charity causes while still maintaining a lifestyle of eight mansions? It sort of waters down the idea. Furthermore, I'm not sure how decorating her eight mansions (along with professional decorators) makes her the most qualified judge for the finale but whatever. Maybe Bravo is trying to woo Sting for some special show.
Note to producers: I think it would have been fun to have seen Laura Bennett as the finale guest judge. We already know that she has exquisite taste in all things AND she has a degree in architecture.

repetition of furniture items
That is, the limited amount of shops, thus limited choices of products they could select from at the PDC. I didn't like those dining room chairs the first time I saw them in Andrea's chef's room. (Although, Carisa could have at least reupholstered them.)

pushing the family man card a bit too much
Either Matt or Bravo or both seemed to be pushing this little too hard at the end. It starts to get saccharine and manipulative. He has a lovely wife and child, yes. Okay, we get it. He's reproduced.

carisa's work style
Oy vey. It was driving me nuts to watch her work. I was somewhat shocked at her lack of preparation. She just walked into the PDC without any plan for what furniture she would be buying?! I would never in a million years hire someone who works this way. And it really caught up to her. She had two months to prepare. She had five days to get the work done. And she never unpacked her books or did any finishing touches that would have personalized the space. That cost her dearly in the judging. Since she's still a student I hope that she takes some classes in project management. You still need a framework if you work intuitively: there is a difference between spontaneity and panic-inducing lack of preparation.

matt's sterile master bedroom
That room is just depressing. For that matter where was the personality or voice of his wife in this space? Other than as a pregnant belly, that is?

the predictability of the outcome
Congrats and everything ... whatever.
I wanted Matt to win, don't get me wrong. The show just lacked interest, but that has been a problem since the start.

matt, please...

2007-04-12T15:47:00.000-07:00

...now that you've won :

FOR CHRISSAKES EAT SOMETHING!!

You're starting to look like Lurch:

Sic gorgiamus allos subiectatos nunc.
[We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.]

Not just pretty words.

top ten

2007-04-11T13:57:00.000-07:00

In response to Linda Merrill's Top 10 list on her ::surroundings magazine blog I decided to see if I could come up with my own top 10. These selections feel a bit random and the ranking order feels even more haphazard. I've made a few notes to try to explain myself but I can't say that if I were to do this tomorrow I would pick the same exact rooms and put them in the same exact order! For what it's worth:

10: felicia, episode 2
smart space use solutions; great design response to the clients needs; will make transition into adolescence.

9: carisa, episode 8
a very creative conceptual idea put into practical use; frame should have been painted white but it is really a very inspired response to the challenge.

8: carisa, episode 2
a well-designed structure; great use of space; color and style that is bright enough for a child but also transitions out of childhood.

7: matt, episode 8
cool icy elegance; exquisite

6. michael, episode 4
wonderful mid century modern scandinavian design; great garage sale finds for a sophisticated post college space

5: erik and carisa, episode 1
comfort, color, style; a warm room that seems inviting; some accessories problems but the overall look is great; I especially like the back wall, and the sofa.

4: andrea, episode 7
for the overall polish, the suede walls and the side table. I hate the chairs.

3: erik, matt, elizabeth
I think this is a great cabana -- building on the traditional design but innovative reworking certain aspects. Plus it provides full sun protection -- increasingly necessary -- as well as privacy.

2. michael and john, episode 1
for the polish, elegance, especially the back wall, the choice of art, the sofa and banquet

1. matt, episodes 2 and 7 especially
basically for his use of color -- the thing that has impressed me the most of all; and for his sense of elegance (it isn't my specific style -- I tend to like cleaner lines -- but it is lovely and appealing nonetheless)

NOTE: You can go to Bravo's Rate the Room and look at all the rooms again and judge for yourself.

recount

2007-04-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

Of course the judges have more expertise and more on-site information than I do on which to base their decisions. Nonetheless, I'm still entitled to my own hare-brained opinions. Half the fun of watching these shows is to engage in delusions of grandeur about how you know more than top experts in the field, who are, as it turns out, complete morons.

With that in mind, here is my run down on how the eliminations went and where the judges went wrong.

1. Lisa -- the design was basically hers, it was not strong, she did not seem to be at the level of innovation needed to be on the show. She may not have particularly even wanted to be there all that much. But if that is the criteria then they should have gotten rid of Ryan immediately as well. Which would have been my preference.

1. Heather -- this was a very unfortunate pairing with Lisa. Heather is someone who had experience that demonstrated a lot of promise but she exited the show before anyone could see what she could do.

2. John -- he didn't finish the job so it was fair to have him be the one to go. Second to him would be Ryan because that bed was dangerous.

3. Elizabeth -- this was an utterly wrong-headed decision. Someone in the Goil/Carisa/Ryan group should have been the one to go. I would have selected Ryan.

4. Felicia -- that room was hideous, although once again Ryan's was worse in that it was dangerous. We are talking about two different versions of uninhabitable: you can always get rid of the afghan (the wallpaper would have been a little harder) but what do you do with a wall encrusted with broken glass?

5. Ryan -- Ryan should have been off long before now. Ryan should have never been on but that's another matter. Anyway, assuming Ryan's long gone, Goil should have been kicked off for getting so obsessed with that ridiculous dog bed.

6. Erik -- this was another wrong-headed decision. Either Goil or Andrea should have gone instead of Erik. The fact that you punish the one person on the team who has any understanding of and capacity for doing the project at all seems utterly backwards. I also want to note that it was such a shame that we didn't see the kind of party planning that Elizabeth and Heather would have done: the two people who have real expertise in this area.

7. Michael -- was probably the fair choice at this point. His, Goil and Carisa's rooms were all pretty bad. If Goil were still in the show by now then he would be the first to go, not just because of his track record but because his room was so impractical and even a bit hazardous. Michael had the "it's my room and I won't change" pissy attitude and Carisa had the better track record.

8. Goil -- was kept on the show far too long. I know I'm in the minority but those white rooms full of gimmicks bored me because they were predictable. At this point one wonders what kind of chef's room Erik or Felicia or Heather would have created. Or Elizabeth or even John? Which of the other designers would have responded to the "elements" hotel room challenge that so flummuxed Goil and Andrea?

9. Andrea -- had one really exquisite room but the rest of the time she was fairly underwhelming. I think she could have gone earlier. I imagine that there are other designers who would have offered a little more energy and just as much polish -- like Erik.

10. Matt and Carisa -- the fact that they are the finalists seems fair enough. (Midway through the show I predicted the finalists to be Matt and Erik so I was half right.)

Matt -- has been consistently strong from the start. He's a real pro. Almost every one of his rooms has been a contender and there is probably no one else who could have consistently produced that level of work.

Carisa -- I think that it came as a surprise to everyone that Carisa did so well. She has a colorful, energetic "pop" style that is similar to Jonathan Adler's. She's consistent without being repetitive and she is imaginative. Good for her. If she's the "wild card" then I'm fine with that.

My problem isn't with how it ended but with what we had to watch in between the beginning and the end. What if, say, they left in this order: Lisa, Ryan, John, Goil, Felicia, Elizabeth, Michael, Andrea and our final four were then (in no particular order): Heather, Carisa, Erik, and Matt. In the end, there was a lot of uninspiring work produced on that show. Top Design should try to figure out what they can do to change that. It would seem obvious that an important aspect of keeping the show interesting would be keeping the most talented designers on the show for as long as possible -- but that isn't always how they operated.

margaret russell : observation 9

2007-04-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |
OBSERVATION |8 |

OBSERVATIONS 9 - 1
[posted in descending order]

| 9 |

1.

referring to themselves in the third person,
the side chairs looked a little nervous
all by themselves in the corners.

2.

cover images can be an enigma

An overabundance of random accessories
(brackets, vases, objets),
an odd rug that trapped any unsuspecting high heel,

------------the lovely
---pond-scum ---taupe,

unwieldy club chairs facing into the room,
poorly conceived pairings of furnishings
(Lucite lamps on Gustavian side tables),

-----------the word “dreamy”
-------------------------(alas, it’s vintage)
appears in barely legible
---pale-pink---type

(hence, the newsstand bomb).

wayne's world

2007-04-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

and other ideas for Top Design improvements and spinoffs

They are down to three designers: Andrea, Matt and Carisa.

This is actual dialogue:

Matt: We’re Charlie’s Angels.
[They are entering the PDC.[
Matt: I’m Farrah.
Andrea: Yes. Yes you are.

Priceless.

The Angels head to the PDC to get their orders.

Charlie/Todd: Pick an Elle Décor cover. Design a room like this cover but not like this cover.

Make it for $7,500. That shouldn’t be a problem after you’ve had the PDC discounts and budgets of 40K. You have all of Los Angeles to shop in. Oh? You don’t know the city? No problem – here’s a computer. You can enter the names of the shops you don’t know into the computer and get their addresses here.

It’s another damned PDC pod assignment. What? They couldn’t find three rooms in all of Los Angeles that they could use?

Andrea goes straight to an architectural shop. She’s going to focus on how she is an architect rather than a designer. That is what the judges are looking for in her right? She is also looking for “natural looking” furnishings. I guess because her style is so natural—very crunchy and earthy.

Carisa – god love her – is having a fabulous time shopping. One thing I admire about Carisa is that when she isn’t stressed she is incredibly cheerful about what she is doing.

That does look like a fun shop.

Andrea is being very smug about how she has the advantage since she’s from Los Angeles. Uh-oh.

Then there is Matt. He is freaking out. This was painful but it was also entertaining. I did not realize that he was THAT much of a decorator prima donna.

Now I have not jumped on the whole Matt-is-gay bandwagon. I've been amused by it, sure. But I've not insisted that it must be so. I’ve a penchant for those lean intellectual guys. (And of course there is the whole “Jesus-is-My-Boyfriend- um, let’s call it an “unresolved issue”.”)

Anyhoo, I can go with the whole Charlies Angels / Farrah thing – that was a self-conscious joke - however, THIS was one of the gayest things I’ve heard:

“Like, bargain shopping – that’s not what I do.”

Of course he may have momentarily been possessed by Cher from Clueless.

Anyway, there is more fun to be had with Matt -- lots more -- when we meet his tailor Wayne Yazzie, who, guessing from his hat and glasses, appears to have been in the midst of a poker game.

I would like to find a picture of Wayne to use here.
If anyone has a screen cap I can use let me know.

The enigmatic Wayne inspired the sidebar below:

NOTE TO PRODUCERS:

1. wayne

I have this to say about the sudden introduction of Wayne:

WHAT THE HELL?!!

Where has HE been? We are just NOW meeting this character?!!! Are there more of them in the PDC upholstery center? Has Bravo been hiding some treasure trove of nutcases from viewers?

I feel completely cheated. It is like there was this whole other show that I missed -- the fun, entertaining version of Top Design -- the show that included kooks like Wayne.

2. todd

Speaking of which, that show would also have included a lot more of Todd. Could Todd be more wonderful? I think not.

Todd is completely and utterly the Voice of Reason. And you need that if you have a show populated by people who are increasingly becoming more and more insane.

Todd has a similar role to Tim Gunn but he plays it in a very different way. Todd is very understated. He’s much kinder, gentler. Tim Gunn seems more informed because he acts the role of the expert: imperious and opinionated. It is hilarious and theatrical; it is perfect for the world of fashion which has so much to do with performance.

Todd is actually much more informed; he has far more experience in the field and unlike Gunn he provides real hands-on instructions – tips and tricks -- on how to do things. Frankly we did not get enough Todd time. We could even use a little Todd segment each episode. Like on how to do that little upholstery trick he showed Matt.

3. the carpenters

The carpenters should be standing up there with the designers. They do a hell of a lot of work. I mean Goil had Sarah make a lot of aesthetic decisions for him. Carl sees himself as an artisan and that may lead to a lot of arguing with Carisa but it is also why she succeeds. Plus, from the start Carisa’s designs have had a lot of built-ins so – although she would never admit it – her work is very much a team effort. Some of those carpenters are craftsmen (and women) and as a potter you’d think Jonathan Adler would realize that the ones that are doing that level of work deserve a little more of the credit.

4. the weasel

Get rid of that sick little mofo “The Assistant.” Bravo should be ashamed of itself for encouraging this by letting it continue. You would never have someone write things in the name of Bravo that were that homophobic or racist. Why is it okay to be that virulently misogynist?

. . . AND WE’RE BACK

Matt says he has Margaret in the back of his head.

Kelly claims that Matt confessed "a distracting crush on Margaret."

Oh, that will go over well back at home.

Through the NSA we've been able to get excerpts from Matt's phone calls following this revelation.

Wife: Who is this Margaret? Where does this whore live? I swear to god I'll cut her.

Daughter: Daddy what's a switchblade?

Wife: I'm coming to get your skinny-ass. I'll kill you and your whore-bitch girlfriend.

Daughter: Mommy went on a trip. Uncles Hoboy and Kilo are here. They make sugar and they said I can try some if I'm good.

Wife: You bastard. I liked it better when you were gay.

Well, I'm sure they've patched things up by now.

Unfortunately either Margaret isn't talking to Carisa or the voices in Carisa's head are bickering so much that she can't hear what Margaret is saying this week. Because what Margaret is saying is that there is no way in hell that Elle Décor would publish any of her designs, which is what Margaret says at the judging.

This is why it is bizarre that they kicked Andrea off. Carisa’s room was basically the best room. If it wasn’t going to win because it was not up to Elle Décor ’s standards then you might as well kick Carisa off now. Why have her go on to the finals if in the finals Margaret is just going to say the same thing: this isn't Elle Décor 's style.

Part of this is Carisa's fault. It was like she was trying to irk Margaret. She knew what Margaret's pet peeve was -- and so that was what she did.

Oh Carisa -- pillows on the Jacobson chair? WhyWhyWhy?

If you have listened to anything Margaret has said to you then why in gods name do you have pillows everywhere?

Maybe she has the wrong Margaret voice in her head. Maybe she has the voice of Marge Simpson.

"I say there should be more pillows and knick-knacks!"

ANDI 'N' CARI : COMING TO YOUR TOWN SOON!

Andrea and Carisa are such opposites that they are like a comedy team. Andrea is so understated that she seems morose. Her statements are often unintentionally droll. Carisa can be very funny and of course she is also comically awful at times.

Carisa (sharing her unsolicited opinion with Andrea): "I’m not sure why you painted it at all . . . Nothing says happy like grey.”

Andrea is pissed off at Carisa for saying this and yet in the next scene she realizes that her grey room is depressing. To brighten it up and make it happy she paints it taupe. That’s the spirit Andrea.

Andrea: “Carisa is different from me in thinking and vocalizing” which is a rather quaint way of saying that Carisa is a bitch.

Andrea: “I love hearing other people freak out.“ For Andrea “vocalizing” (a primitive animal act) or any sort of expression of emotion would involve a massive surgical procedure. She can’t help it. Let us not forget that Andrea is Swiss and emotions are for ethnic people.

If that comedy team doesn’t work out perhaps there could be a sitcom with Carl and Carisa. I think we all cheered when Carl finally snapped at Carisa. I also thought it was hilarious that Carisa didn’t miss a beat. Neither one of them did. The two of them just kept on working and bickering. It is amazing that they can concentrate. It is amazing that someone hasn’t lost a finger.

Or a head.

Even so, I thought Carisa was going to win.

Carisa's room really captured the cover of Elle magazine -- so I don't know how you can then say it isn't Elle's style or standard. If it isn't up to that level of luxury maybe that is because the budget was $7500.

It says a lot about how much Margaret hates Carisa’s style. Or something. It almost seems like there is some class snobbery going on that makes Margaret biased against Carisa.

Jonathan, on the other hand, is clearly charmed by her. He likes her style but he also likes that "be happy" part of Clarisa.

However, Margaret was dressed in a silver silk satin dress in the style of a 1930s film goddess so you know her word was the final word.

As if it ever isn’t.

Kelly, by the way, had gotten rid of her bad perm this week. That's the good news.

The bad news is that she had plates hanging from her ears -- not dinner or salad plates, more like bread plates.

The look was sort of Apocalypto by way of Fort Lauderdale.

It was understated for her.

shameless commerce

2007-04-03T16:48:00.000-07:00

I finally got the critics notebook up in the shop.
(There is also a critics magnet and a mug.) So if you want to take notes for your recaps or for your hate mail to the producers or whatnot you should check it out. I'm working on t-shirts. I don't make enough money to open the kind of shop where I can have more than one design per product so I have to switch things around. (The CafePress people keep telling me to promote my shop but this is the best I can do and even so it's rather embarrassing--plus the stuff isn't cheap.) Anyhoo --if you want something specific let me know, it is easy for me to switch out the designs.

back to nature

2007-04-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

This week I kept thinking of Robert Frost's lines

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.

How can you not think of "Fire and Ice" when you see fire and ice? The poem is rather dark, although also quite funny. If you have a dark sense of humor that is.

That said, none of the rooms struck me as harbingers of the end of the world -- despite Goil's hystrionics, Carisa's haranging, Andrea's complaining, and Matt's guilt (not to mention the blood).

You just can't get a better design theme than the four elements. With that in mind, Andy Goldsworthy is the artist who works with the natural world in a way that I find most inspiring:

Fire

Water /Ice

Air

Earth

top design : 1.8 posts (in order below) :
it's a weird mix this week -- wallace stevens to the ohio players. plus jesus returns...and he's feeling minnesota.

additional resources :

margaret russell : observation 8

2007-03-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |

| 8 |

You need to think about the bigger picture and not get too theoretical. It's not just about the idea of fire or horizon; it's about sleeping in a bed or sitting in a comfortable chair and reading the paper in the morning.

A really well-dressed bed: that's luxury.

earth to andrea

2007-03-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

The idea that earth was a difficult element for a hotel room was Completely Bogus. I practically wanted to yell at the television: "Green! Think Green!" And this was what Kelly asked her.

It was such an easy element to be given. Every hotel in the world is doing the California Spa experience with some Japanese touches as well like bamboo, teak and reed. A spa refers to materials like water and marble and sand. It also evokes stone and linen and iris; or jade and silk and orchid.

Frankly, that room Andrea came up with was bizarre.

It was like bad West Elm.

She seemed so stuck on the idea that earth = cruncy granola and folksy plows. To avoid this look she made something very dry and dull. The dimensions were off.

She couldn't break away from her fixed associations and move into ways of imagining that would help her create a room that felt luxurious. There are so many ways to indulge in the idea of sensuality with an element like earth. Rich color is one way.

This is Marimekko (above). Scandinavian designers -- and especially Finnish designers -- have so much life and energy in their nature motifs. Check out Lotta Jansdotter (below) -- she's mainly known for her textiles but her ceramics are also fabulous --

perhaps for a for a breakfast in bed.

There are so many hotels and spas that one could use as examples but one place that came to my mind was Hotel Vitale in San Francisco.

I remembered it as being green but in fact the colors in these pictures are more browns and blues but they couldn't be more different in feel from Andrea's. They are much warmer.

The lobby:

One thing none of the designers provided was a decent workspace:

Here is a great alternative to Andrea's insect-collecting grass tables:

At any rate, everyone today wants the hotel to provide the spa experience and that is very much associated with a kind of natural -- green -- sensibility.

It was driving me nuts to watch Andrea make a room that was so utterly wrong-headed!

Hotel Vitale Press:

burnin' burnin' burnin'

2007-03-31T14:29:00.000-07:00

A few observations about Goil and why in the end he just burned out.

1. Crafting

It has occurred to me that Goil basically isn't interested in decorating rooms or designing spaces. What he likes to do is projects. He does crafts.

Goil is a crafter.

I don't mean that pejoratively. Craft is a very diverse and rich area. It can include some silly stuff like painted rocks with googly eyes. But Craft can also be cool. And it includes the kinds of projects that Goil does. And Goil's projects are not necessarily interior design. Not on their own, separate from a good sense of the room as a whole.

2. Limited

The problem with Goil is that he is someone who has only a particular set of skills and they are limited. I say they are limited not because they are not strong skills or difficult or highly technical skills but because he is clearly unable to go beyond them. He painted every single room white. He was told to try certain things but he simply could not break out of his habits of seeing, thinking, acting:

white wall
light wood floor
painted stripes
basic primary color
project that obsesses him and uses up his time

The good news is that this probably makes him a good architect because he has the exacting qualities of an engineer. Sometimes a person tries something and learns what they don't want to do: I see him as being very frustrated as a designer because he would be trying to do something that is going against his nature. He is someone who works better in the construction and not the decorative areas of design. I can't imagine him working very well with a client because he doesn't seem to listen very well and, for the reasons listed above, he is not very adaptable.

3. Literalism

Part of his limitation is an imaginative limit -- seen in his tendency towards literalism. He doesn't think like an artist. Artists don't think in such concrete terms.

As Margaret pointed out, "fire" and "hotel room" are not the best pairing.

However, he just needed to think about what fire might represent other than fire. Like, say, passion and desire.

In that sense, he had an easy challenge: one of the main reasons people go to hotels is for romantic getaways.

And I'm not talking about heart-shaped beds with a lot of frou-frou rosy decor and bowls of pot-pourri.

three possibilities

Sure, this is armchair designing. but for all the whining we heard I think it is fair for us to say "come on -- how hard is it?"

So here are 3 different style options for a romantic luxury hotel suite. The first two came from a quick google search. The third one is stuff everyone knows : the modern classics.

1. Google search term: Romantic Luxury Hotel
(I looked under Images to find a picture I liked)

Even on a more traditional level there is the simplicity of something like a Spanish style:

Hotel Castillo de Buen Amor, Salamanca, España

And it even has white walls! However the white is has a strong texture (stucco). In this room the dark colors pop: rich stained wood, black marble tile and luscious (buen amor) red.

2. Google search term: Luxury Hotel Thailand

One of the great new hotels of the world, The Rachamankha, owned and designed by Thailand's best architects, provides an excellent example of a hotel that brings together with traditional temple and modern design.

This is not from Rachamankha. It is a detail from a shrine in Thailand. It is so beautiful -- and a symbol of love -- that I decided to post it.

3. modern design classics

Steel frame "Parsons" Bed.
If you are going to have something forged have it be the bed -- that is where the heat is generated. For a more romantic feel you might drape sheers around it.

Modern Sofa
A comfortable couch that two people can sink into and just fall asleep or watch a movie in or just sit and relax and have a glass of champagne. Make sure there is only one cushion across the bottom.

Iconic chair
A bright red sexy sculptural piece of furniture:

Lighting.
Romance is all about the lighting. There is nothing like Fortuny but it may not fit the modern look.

Tube lighting of varying sizes can cast different levels of light and shadow.

Art.
None of this make-your-own crap (I'm talking to you, Kenneth Brown). Get some real art. Don't be asshole decorators : support the local galleries.

Mari Eastman Dinner Date 2007

Karen Lovegrove Gallery Los Angeles

Michael Schultheis, Folia of Descartes 06, 2006
Froelick Gallery, Portland, Oregon

Finally, for inspiration, there is one thing that I think of first when I think of fire.

So here's your Fire for you: click and hit play.

emperor of ice

2007-03-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

As we know, Matt got the theme of Water.

This was fitting for the blessed one so associated with water, as in turning into wine and walking on (see previous post: why matt can do no wrong regarding who our superstar resembles at times:

Yikes.

Who can compete with that?

Everyone felt that Water was the easiest theme. (Of course the spirit guided the best element to the chosen one.)

These days "spa" and "hotel" are practically interchangeable terms. The colors and surfaces of aqua and teak and sand and surf are ubiquitous in the world of hotels -- making it easier for the designers to come up with ideas at the spur of the moment and to find what they are looking for -- so Water would have been a snap to do as a basic spa type of room.

Furthermore, I remind you that this is taking place in Los Angeles -- a place of surf and sun.

So what does Matt do with it?

He makes ice. Oy.

Jesus wept.

But it was beautiful ice.

It takes someone from a cold climate to create a sparkling icy spectacle under these circumstances.

Feeling Minnesota . . .

Or, maybe it just takes someone from a cold climate to see it this way. (And please pardon my clichés.)

One must have a mind of winter . . .

A number of people noted that it was hard to remember that Matt's room was water and not air

like the blurry winter horizon where snow and sky are indistinguishable.

Other elements included: the very exacting shade of blue

like the particular clarity of the sky on a biting cold, crisp day.

Mirrored tables

like the surface of a skating pond.

Layers of pillows--

like "cotton candy snow" (the name for the snow when it first falls and is downy and soft)

.
The color of the rug

like the dormant grasses that appear in places in the snow drifts.

The glass floor lamp

an icicle reflecting light in its curves.

The mirror -- an icy star.

Andy Goldsworthy, Icicle Star

That said, the room was exquisite but it needed some life. A promise of spring.

Water that moves. Flowers in bloom. Narcissus. Maybe a cherry branch or pussy willows. I like the symbolism of narcissus however. And chocolate is good in the winter as well.

observations on observations 1-7

2007-03-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

revised (edits) 03/28 9amIt has been a while since I've taken stock of my Top Design literary project: Margaret Russell's Observations. So I've decided to provide a little overview of the "works to date." I've also reprinted the text of the Introduction and the Commentary on Observations #1-3 that I posted previously.

I don't have any general narrative or thematic picture to offer, alas (I know you will be ever so disappointed, gentle reader). Since each week offers up a completely different set of circumstances, I never know what I'm going to use and so I have no plan in mind. It will be interesting (more likely, it won't) to see if the combined sensibilities of Margaret's comments and my fancy will end up producing some motif or sensibility that will make these various entries cohere. (Okay, the unfolding of this literary insight will be about as interesting as watching paint dry.) Stay tuned. (Or not. At any rate, it keeps me amused.)

Click on the titles to go to the individual OBSERVATIONS.

INTRODUCTION:
One of the main reasons for tuning in to Top Design is to hear what Margaret Russell is going to say. Therefore as regular feature I will be presenting some Margaret Russell's wit and wisdom under a selected edition I haved titled "Observations." The entries will be primarily comprised of epigraphs -- quotations taken from the show. However, I will use my editorial discretion to select the proper form: such as a poem, a koan, a simple statement of design principle, a theatrical note such as an ironic aside, or perhaps some mixed literary-philosophical genre.

OBSERVATION 1
The first week's was a light koan spoken in a more off-hand modern language.

OBSERVATION 2
The second week she again uses the terse declarative statement, but this time it is more poetic, moving into more of a haiku form: her repetition reinforced her characteristic irony, thus the second can be seen as a negation -- or question -- ofthe first. Repetition also insists on further reflection whereupon we might discover that something seemingly simple -- even silly -- may also plumb profound depths.

OBSERVATION 3
Margaret's literary stylings expanded this week in her celebratation of the seaside in southern France. She moved away from the statement form and her language became more associative. I think it was the southern French connection: perhaps she became possessed by the the spirit of the troubadours. Her simple questions -- romantic and almost child-like -- evoke the popular ballad form. The poem appears to be an aubade that celebrates the morning light.The aubade was popular with both the troubadors and as well as modernist poets such as Ezra Pound who greatly admired the troubadors. The second stanza's classic imagist style is very reminiscent of H.D. Indeed, her intense compaction and ironic undercurrent perfectly captures the spirit of the Americans in France a century ago. Can we read this as Margaret's preference for the modern over the of French country decor?

OBSERVATION #4
This is comprised of a series of three statements, each one a different type of address that moves from distance inward. The first is what we have come to know as her forte, i.e., the declarative statement (usually the pronouncement of a rule); the second is a more personal, conversational line addressed to "you"; and the third seems confessional and private as if spoken only to herself.

OBSERVATION #5
This observation was Margaret's challenge to Kelly, but really it is addressed to all of us. Margaret isn't just warning against being charmed by fakers who have nothing to back up their talk; she is demanding that we take art seriously. We must question its claims and explore its meanings. Art is where we engage with "big ideas."

OBSERVATION #6
This consists of four short poems that are typical "Margaretisms." I decided to break them into separate sections and add line breaks in order to emphasize the different ways that she uses language that can be seen as employing literary techniques:

The first one is a list. What interested me was the richness of the language luxury as it builds up in her list of the extravagant celebrations of the super-rich. The language itself seems to participate in the enjoyment of excess.
The second could be seen as using pacing and inflection to mimic meaning but mainly I just like the line.
The third is syllabic (count'em).
The last one, especially taken out of context, becomes is a wonderful pair of absurd contradictions -- like something out of Alice in Wonderland.

OBSERVATION #7
We return to the haiku: these two are in the classic seventeen syllable form.

margaret russell : observation 7

2007-03-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Observations

by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |
OBSERVATION | 7 |

| 7 |

the olive branch
on the top of the sideboard
was a poetic touch

although polished
and ready for guests, the room
was cautious and quiet

doing lunch or losing lunch

2007-03-23T14:01:00.000-07:00

top design 1.7

Marcia, Jan and cousin Oliver are complaining about Cindy when they get a note from Todd: “There’s a car waiting downstairs to take you to lunch.”

Goil: "What does that mean?"

The other two helpfully translate the note for Goil.

Matt: "There’s a lunch."

Michael: "And a car waiting downstairs."

At the restaurant Todd explains that the assignment is to design the space for a chef’s table in a restaurant.

Todd: "the client's style preferences are very unusual: nature, the hand-made, Arts and Crafts, Mid-Century Modern." [See previous posting.]

The designers freak.

Andrea says that these are "colliding aesthetics." She runs screaming from the room.

They all start banging on the door to get out, yelling Help! Help!

Matt spews obscenities. Goil builds himself a rolling cubby and crawls into it. Michael howls at such a high pitch that all of the dogs in a ten mile radius begin to bark.

Carisa informs us that Arts and Crafts is a 20th century movement illustrated by Frank Lloyd Wright. Well... I'd give that definition partial credit--but less than half. [See previous posting.]

Goil: "I'm confused. How can I bring together modernism and art and craft?"

The way he says it makes me wonder if he is thinking of art and craft in the non-design movement way.

At the end of lunch Andrea is the only one who has the good manners to offer a toast. Her simple “cheers” would suffice for the situation but Todd oddly adds: “to a lovely adventure” like they are leaving on a vacation.

I think that in Todd-land everything is a lovely adventure. It would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Michael tells a florist: "I want an arrangement that is like a piece of nature coming inside."

The florist gives him a look that says one of three things:

1. You mean like the kind of thing you would get at a florist?
2. You mean you want me to do your job for you?
3. Get out of my shop you imperious little snot.

As an unrelated aside, who in the hell does all of this sewing and upholstering in record time? How come they don’t get any credit? Is there some PDC sweat shop where undocumented workers are sewing 24 hours a day in order to get this stuff done on time?

Compared to Project Runway this show is rather dicey in terms of sharing credit for all of the labor. That is one of the things I like about Candace Olsen over on HGTV. Her whole team always gets credit for the work they do.

Carisa: "This is hard for me to do because it is about natural materials and I am plastic and artificial."

She said it.

Matt: "I am thinking outside the box."

Oh Matt. Don’t you know that saying something this hackneyed is proof that you are not?

Michael is painting art that looks like a crime scene. He is creating a chef’s room for Hanibal Lecter.

Goil is having another one of his fucking tantrums. Poor Sarah. She’s had to be both a carpenter and a babysitter.

Speaking of which, Carisa is getting bratty and pissy with Carl.

Carisa: “It’s not the Carl show. It’s my show.”

People have a hard time finding the right balance asserting authority. Either they under-play it, like Goil and Matt, and are passive aggressive. Or they overplay it, like Michael and Carisa, and are bossy. It is a sign of insecurity, which doesn’t make it any less annoying.

Carisa starts to get a bit power mad.

Carisa: “You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re out of order! You’re out of order! I’m the decider! The carpenters serve at the pleasure of Carisa!”

Meanwhile, back at planet Goil, we learn that Goil considers himself a sort of Spicy Superman.

Goil: "I can usually muscle it out but my most fabulous power is diminishing and my competitors are becoming stronger.”

Gosh darn reality! Another delusion of grandeur destroyed by the real world.

I think Goil needs to open himself up to a genre outside of comic books and sci-fi. He might want to read a book by an author who will introduce him to the anti-hero. Perhaps Beckett.

At one point Todd does the most hilarious thing. He looks at Goil’s paint stripes -- which are a mess because they bled through the tape -- and he pretends that Goil did this on purpose.

Todd: “Emphasize that your wavy lines are intentional”

Oh Todd. From anyone else that would seem snarky.

Goil: "My secret weapon is my plant lamp, which has a sacred power given to me by Buddhist monks. The plant lamp is the Excalibur of Thailand."

Goil then claims that his aesthetic is shaped by the colors of the culture he brings with him from Thai temples. Yeah, all those temples that are white boxes on wheels.

Oh Goil. That’s a bit “ancient Chinese secret” isn’t it? Do you take us for complete idiots?

Yes? You do?

Okay. Fair enough.

Back at the Brady house, the girls are talking about the ugliness of Cindy's room: "Cindy can't play house for shit."

Speaking of playing house, Matt tells us that: "My wife and daughter say that if I don't win I shouldn't bother coming home." (I refer you to Pink Navy’s Matt Lorenz Drinking Game).

In the White Room Jonathan Adler is wearing a piece of orange carpeting as a tie.

Kelly is FABulous. She is a kind of mad over-the-top Edward Gorey/Tim Burton school mistress/secretary/dominatrix. The hair is gorgeous. I don’t care what anyone else says. If I had a team of stylists and a plumber on my staff I would grow my hair long again and wear it like that.

Andrea’s room wins. Hers is luxurious and elegant. I’m not that into the black and white palette although she does warm it up with the muted colors from the slate and the suede walls. The lamps are lovely and she has a side table to die for.

Matt’s room is beautiful. Somehow he made a brown and orange room aesthetically pleasing. That boy is a wizard with color.

I think Carisa’s room is ugly but that may be because I don’t like blue very much. It is also unfinished. She blames Carl. Bad idea. Nevertheless, she does have the most beautiful table: very George Nagashima.

The judges think Michael’s room is ugly (I don’t think it is as ugly as Carisa’s) and don’t like that the chairs don’t match. Jonathan says the rug looks like it was from an airport or casino and he would know, since that is where he got the fabric for that hideous tie.

Goil’s room is -- surprise! -- another white box! It is stark and cold. It has nothing to do with the aesthetics that Todd outlined.. Nothing matches. Not even the silverware. It feels cheap. It doesn’t look like 10K was spent there let alone 40K.

Tom asks Goil about his room. Either Tom is being polite or he is being ironic when he says that Goil's room is either brilliant and individualistic or totally misconceived and confused.

Goil gets excited and defensive and blathers something about this being “his” chef’s room and “his” individual experience. Which is weird because he was supposed to design this for the client, i.e., Tom. He picks up on some of the words Tom used and tries to dig himself out of the hole. Tom isn’t buying it.

Of course the other judges lap it up. They convince themselves that even though the room sucks it is filled with innovations. It's the usual tautology: because it is Goil’s room it must be innovative.

Then they make the designers stab each other by asking them which room they wouldn’t want to eat in. Apparently this challenge actually about finding out which room was the least appetizing. (You know that this was the the idea of the producers – to ensure that the remaining four are all mad at each other for the rest of the season.)

Matt and Carisa say Goil’s room because they don’t want dead plants falling into their food. Andrea and Goil say Carisa’s room because they hate Carisa.

Michael takes the high road and refuses to answer. Good for him. Anyway, we already know from his relentless gossiping that he would have said Carisa but it is to his credit that he didn't do it in front of the judges. For his insistance on holding on to the last remaining scruple that reality television hasn't already stripped him of, he is kicked off.

collision course

2007-03-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

Todd describes the clients style preferences as having an unusual range: nature, the hand-made, Arts and Crafts, and Mid-Century Modern.

Hold on a minute. (I'm afraid I'm going to have to be insufferably pedantic so bear with me. This won't last long and it should be relatively painless.)

There is absolutely nothing unusual about this range of styles. In fact this is a distinct design lineage that fits together perfectly.

For some reason this combination of tastes causes the designers to freak out. They seem to feel that Mid-Century Modern and Arts and Crafts are “colliding” styles, as Andrea puts it.

Architects might be more inclined to see the two styles as colliding if they think of modern architecture in terms of the international style rather than in terms of residential architecture, but this show is not called Top Non-residential Architect.

One problem is that the designers seem to be fixated on the idea that Mid-century Modern = Eames which they define (if they have any idea of it at all) as a focus on mass-produced, machine made, the use of new materials and bright colors. This is a very narrow description of Mid-Century Modern (as well as the work of Charles and Ray Eames). Mid-century modern also included designers like Isamu Noguchi who uses organic shapes and natural materials, just to take one of many examples.

Basically the designers seem to have a rather fuzzy understanding of the Arts and Crafts and Mid-century Modern movements.

Carisa informs us that Arts and Crafts is a 20th century movement illustrated by Frank Lloyd Wright.

Oy. Carisa is not exactly wrong. The trouble is that this is not exactly the right definition of the Arts and Crafts movement.

Arts and Crafts is primarily a 19th century movement.
It started in England with William Morris.
Its most important American figure is Gustav Stickley.
It is associated with mission style furniture and bungalow architecture.

Frank Lloyd Wright is considered part of the Arts and Crafts movement—particularly his early Prairie School work. However, his work falls at the very end of the Arts and Crafts movement and marks its transformation into modernism. In many respects Frank Lloyd Wright is a bridge between Arts and Crafts and Mid-Century Modern which is one reason why they are not such “colliding” styles.

ADDED SATURDAY MARCH 24:

Linda Merrill's :: surroundings has a nice post on arts and crafts movement with a variety of images including several Frank Lloyd Wright homes. You can see the difference between his earlier bungalow style in the Robie house and the later modernist lines of Falling Water.

And while I'm at it, I'll remind you that Chicago is the architectural locus for both the Prairie School and the Modern/International style (discussed in this earlier post).

Why does Bravo do this? It is such a disservice to viewers to not use this as an opportunity to educate viewers. Or at least let them know what the hell everyone is talking about.

a few resources :

arts and crafts

the arts and crafts movement (an older site that I never got back to -- oops! -- maybe now is the time to fix it up)
kora in hell shop: arts and crafts style ceramic and paper goods (shameless commerce : note at the end of the month the design will change from pomegranates to oranges)

isamu noguchi (brand new site: he's a favorite.)

frank lloyd wright -- some basic sites

frank lloyd wright foundation (taliesen west)
taliesen preservation
frank lloyd wright preservation trust (0ak park)
frank lloyd wright buildings (pbs)
frank lloyd wright library of congress exhibit : designs for an american landscape, 1922-1932

charles and ray eames -- basic sites

eames office -- a great site -- check out the powers of 10
the work of charles and ray eames (library of congress exhibition)
herman miller : charles and ray eames
design museum

mid century modern
on the web this is basically a commercial category; the best thing would be a book list (forthcoming)

lottaliving.com

margaret russell : observation 6

2007-03-20T07:41:00.001-07:00

Observations
by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5 |
OBSERVATION | 6 |

| 6 |

I.

Even decades later, people are still talking about
Truman Capote’s legendary Black and White ball,
the launch party for Yves Saint Laurent’s Opium scent,
and the birthday bash that Malcolm Forbes threw in Morocco.

II.

My biggest disappointment,
however, was the flowers.

III.

But “furry” is an
adjective for pets
and stuffed animals,
not flowers.
.......................Ever.

IV.

The wall of lemons
wasn’t a wall,
and the chandeliers
weren’t chandeliers either.

limón drops

2007-03-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

4:30 PM SATURDAY 03/18: THE COMMENT FUNCTION IS AVAILABLE AGAIN. IT GOT SWITCHED OFF FOR A WHILE THIS AFTERNOON. A GHOST -- or leprechaun -- IN THE MACHINE I GUESS. SORRY ABOUT THAT. BUT IT IS WORKING NOW SO PLEASE, COMMENT AWAY!

I’m doing something different this week – more of a regular recap. So far this week I haven’t read any recaps – so I haven’t had a chance to copy anyone clever like Eric3000 – so I’m not sure how good this will be but here goes.

1. The Setup

There are two groups:

The Bradys: Andrea, Erik and Goil &
The Mean Girls: Matt, Michael and Carisa.

THE BLESSING
They are each creating a party on sacred ground that has been blessed by The Spirit of Exquisite Taste in All Things but Especially Hat and Shoes the Holy Mother of God What is He Wearing Elton John of the Oscarae Bashiana Fabulosity be Thy Name.

THE EVENT
The party is for the product placement of Bacardi Limón.
I get the dry heaves just thinking about sweet rum mixed with lemon flavoring.

THE CATCH

1. They are throwing the party inside a GMC Acadia.
2. The party must be "sensorial" because Bicardi has decided that their product is going to be associated with being sensorial. I take this to mean that everyone at the party will be on ecstasy.

THE CURSE
Todd also mentions doing something "to hero” the product. I begin to weep silently for the demise of the English language. May whomever turned hero into a verb to be used for advertising promotion burn forever in a lake of fire.

THE IDEAS :

Goil wants to do a Star Trek theme. He becomes R2D2 and while they are working on the project he makes only vague single syllable noises.
Erik wants to create a Polish wedding in the backyard of his mom’s house. He thinks of Elton John as a Chicago Polish mom which is just one of about a hundred adorable things Erik says. Someone that cute and that funny and with such strong old school skills has a good chance of sticking around for a while--perhaps winning the whole thing, right?
Michael wants to throw a bar mitzvah for himself.

2. The Mean Girls

The Mean Girls have drawn up their plans and are now meeting with the carpenters. By this time Michael's Bar Mitzvah Boy has retreated and two of Michaels many other personalities have taken over. He is veering wildly between:

BriBri, a fifth tier New York debutante who is invited to some of the hip social affairs but is able to get into all of them because she knows all the djs and has slept with most of the bouncers.

and

Arleen, an embittered divorcee whose children haven’t spoken to her in over a decade. She is the boss from hell who runs a pr firm and berates her assistant so relentlessly that she has to hire a new one every two weeks.

Carisa is showing the carpenters the plans with an overall theme of open squares.

Michael/Arleen: "NO."

Carisa and the Carpenters stop and look at him.

Michael/Arleen (to Carisa): "I would have mentioned this earlier but then I wouldn’t have been able to humiliate you in front of the carpenters"

Matt: (giggles)

Carisa: "Oh" (speechless by this sudden change)

Michael/Arleen: "We should all be able to express our opinion without being talked over and put down."

Matt (giggle, whispers to Michael): "Tell her she’s a doodyface!"

Carisa: "Here is the design for the dj platforms"

Michael/BriBri: NO.

Carisa: What?!

Michael/BriBri: "I rented a table the dj will stand on because djs don’t work in booths, they just stand on tables with go-go dancers. I know because I go to all the big social affairs in New York. Paris and Misha are my closest friends.

Matt: "Michael that’s brill – you’re a genius. You're going to introduce me to them right?"

Carisa: "Go-Go dancers?"

Michael/BriBri: "We can all see you are having trouble with other people expressing their opinions."

Carisa: "I don’t want it to be tacky."

Michael/BriBri: "They won't be tacky. They will be gold. I know because I've been to parties that Donald Trump throws and he's very classy. Ivanka is one of my closest best friends. "

Matt (whispers to Michael): "Tell Carisa that she’s not allowed in our secret club."

Carisa: "Whatever." (To the carpenters): "Here are the seating areas."

Michael/BriBri: "NO."

"People don’t sit at parties. How can you not know that? Nobody ever sits at a party. I know this because I go to parties and you don’t because I’m popular and you aren’t. "

Matt: (giggle) "Yeah, we’re popular. We’re tall and blond and thin and popular and the boys like us."

Carisa: "Okay fine. You take over and tell us what to do."

Michael: "I don’t actually have any ideas I just want to make it look like you are being bossy and not letting us have our say. Have I made you so angry that you can’t breathe yet? Because I can keep going until you pass out from a lack of oxygen. "

3. The Bradys

Meanwhile the Bradys are redoing the attic so Greg and Marcia can finally have a room to drop acid and make out in.

Erik/Greg: "Lets hang the lemons and the bottles like hippy beads."

Andrea/Marcia: "Can we get Felicia’s afghan? That would look nice with some furry flowers."

Erik: "Where’s Goil?"

Andrea: "Back at the Bells' garage putting more finishing touches on the dog bed."

Goil/R2D2: "uh yeep ba ip"

Andrea (to camera): "We have to keep Goil doing little projects so he won't get obsessed again"

Erik and Andrea are turning Goil’s chandelier into a sofa.

Goil/R2D2: (stabbing lemons with nails): "neep neep neep neep"

Goil (to camera): "I wish they would listen to me."

Goil/R2D2: "ah um wha -- bleep bloop."

Erik (dreaming of being with Goil in a jacuzzi): "Hang on there Spartacus."

Goil (to camera): "I’m sacrificing my ego by holding in my rage until I have an audience that can best appreciate my dramatic range.

4. The Judging

Kelly: "I liked the bouncer. "

Jonathan: "He was so sensorial"

Margaret: "Yes, that overwhelming odor of Axe body spray really mixed well with the lemons."

The judges (to the Mean Girls): "We really liked the box motifs, the dj booth, and the seating areas -- whose overall design was it?"

Carisa: "It was mine"

Matt gasps and rolls his eyes with the bitchy queen bee technique that he has perfected over this this episode.

Michael: "I’m outraged even though I shot down all of Carisa's ideas that the judges liked and even though I would never share the credit myself "

Carisa (Not backing down): "The overall design was mine."

Michael: "Well I did the flowers."

Carisa shows Matt that she can still roll her eyes better than he can. Matt cowers behind Michael.

Jonathan (Queen of the Eye Rollers): Ladies, don't even go there.

Carisa: "Michael used too much cabbage in his flower arrangements."

Michael: "We created everything together. We worked as a team."

Matt: (worried, whispers to Michael): "Except that Carisa’s not allowed in our club, right, Michael, right?"

Michael. "Everyone should follow my example. See how nice it is to be nice?"

Everyone: "Which personality is the nice one? Have we met him yet?"

Kelly: "Did you all celebrate together when you finished?"

Matt and Michael do their special secret club handshake.

Matt: "Carisa has cooties!"

Margaret: "Well clearly Matt has the maturity and neutrality to have been the leader of the group. So he is the winner."

Jonathan: "So Goil how was your experience?"

Goil: "They put duct tape over my mouth and never let me speak. It’s a club that I can never be in!!

Carisa: "Cry me a river."

Andrea and Erik : "What the f—"

Jonathan: "How could you two be so cruel to our favorite? And you didn’t let him spend the entire time on his one pet project? What is WRONG with you two?! Wait. Where did he go?"

Goil has built a rolling cubbyhole and has crawled into it and is now rocking himself and repeating "Marcia Marcia Marcia."

Margaret: "Everyone! Go to your room!"

Andrea: "Goil Why didn't you tell us?"

Goil: "You were my favorite! I was R2D2 but now I'm Jan Brady! It’s a mess!"

Michael is horrified that Goil is becoming the center of attention. Unable to stand the idea of anyone being a bigger drama queen than he is, his Scarlett Rose Blanche personality takes over.

Scarlett Rose Blanche (comforting Goil):“Come over here child.”

Scarlett Rose Blanche (barks at cameraman): “Are you getting this? Zoom in closer!”

Scarlett Rose Blanche (looking off into the distance and speaking slowly, like Blanche Dubois' in her “I have always relied on the kindness of strangers” speech):

“We have no idea where this is going.”

FADE TO BLACK

5. Coda:

Erik is packing up his workspace. He tells us that he is an Alpha Male. He pees on the table before he leaves.

what's in a vase

2007-03-14T15:08:00.000-07:00

Finally, regarding Ryans parting dig at Jonathan's vases, here are a few points I'd make.

First let me parse what it seemed like Ryan was saying about the vase when was so dismissive of it:

The vase is a symbol for the things in life that are trivial, the things that we don't need. We can live without a vase. The vase is decorative. The vase is not art it is craft. The vase is delicate, too easy to smash. it represents this whole endeavor.

That vase matters because crappy design is part of the consumer culture, disposible culture, a culture that doesn't think about where our products come from and who made them and how they were made.

That vase represents a resistance to all of that. It is about thinking about where things are made and who made them. And about having things that we want to keep.

Why should we have things around us that are ugly when it costs the same to design something This is the reason why high-end designers have moved into developing lines for Target and K-Mart.

If we are to think about things we have ather than just accumulate them then we need to consider the importance of the things we have around us. When I have a barbeque I would rather serve my friends on bright polka dot melanine than on paper plates.

I like to decorate the table and put flowers in vases. (I would especially like to put them in a JA vase . . . )

pretty colors.

Is this a trivial act? The answer to this question is actually far from simple.

Virginia Woolf wrote an entire novel about it (and a few other things as well). If you are an interior designer and you have not read Mrs. Dalloway then hie thee to a bookstore and start reading it now and don't stop until you are finished. (The Hours is a wonderful novel but it isn't the same and the movie is supposed to be fine but Virginia Woolf and Clarissa Dalloway are too real to me to see on film and the idea that a nitwit like Nicole Kidman portrayed Virginia Woolf and won an Oscar because she wore a fake nose is scandalous even for the Academy. But I digress ...

The set table is about hospitality and hospitality is about culture. It is about the idea of home. What nourishes us.

yummy. like spumante

Are these statements not radical enough? Not overtly political enough? When the reason we are creating art is to spread one's message or when we must label art with a message or when we decide whether we like art based on our politics we are creating propaganda not art.

The aesthetics of the vase is in itself about so many things -- first of all it is a vessel. It is the shape of a woman's body.

It is the source.

The more I think about someone who calls themself an artist acting this way about an artist's vase the more lightheaded I start to feel.

abacus, beaded
very contemporary, very mod, and
very art nouveau as well with its organic shapes and japonisme

It seems ironic that Ryan's snobbery about being an artist would place him in the art versus craft hierarchy (intentionally or not) looking down at the person who actually gets his hands dirty.

Ryan -- who was all about making political statements his work -- assumed that Jonathan had nothing to say about ecology and design. Of course someone whose art is about working with the earth has probably never thought about that.

igneous in jade
(some of my personal favorites, esp in sand)

As for the idea that they are mainly used for decorative purposes.

vidalia (gasp! to die for),

If that were true, and whatever that does mean, I, for one, do not want to live in a world that only values the utilitarian. That is George Bush's world.

anemone -- has a bit of a zeisel feel to it

That is the world that sees no value in poetry because there is no use in it.

igneous in sand
a harsh beauty

Then there are the people who dismiss a certain work of art a field of art because its purpose is considered trivial or its meaning is not immediately apparent or it doesn't have a high enough status (too feminine?) in the hierarchy of the arts.

chica
(reminds me of stones --
his works on paper),

The idea that something is trivial, small, inconsequential is never a reason not to cherish it. The idea that something has no value in the world is never a reason not to say it isn't essential to one's life.

artard

2007-03-14T14:09:00.000-07:00

NOTE: I apologize for the typos -- I'm in a rush and a small wire fox terrier is trying to bite my sleeves as I type -- I'll try to fix them as soon as I can.

Ryan is such a bore that when I've thought about writing something about him this past week it just made me so tired that I would have to go and take a nap.

My favorite description of him comes from Jonathan Adler: "he is a person who thinks he is an artist." I have come up with a name for this: an artard.

ARTARD, n: an ill-informed, often comical or foolish person who believes they are an artist and who publicly acts out the role of the tormented artist in order to get attention (artardary, artardesque):

Ryan's silly hackneyed speeches only evoked derision in the judges. For the record his "art" was hardly original. Ooooh black walls! broken glass!). Avant Garde artists have been reclaiming and reworking interiors for well over a century. I won't even get started on this because if I think too much about the fact that he doesn't know this does know this I might perish of grief. You know how I get when people have not done their homework. I'm not sure whether his ignorance is the fault of Ryan since he is clearly the kind of person who is determined not to learn anything or his teachers who have not taught him but given him passing grades.

As for being an artist in your napalm slum, uh, Ryan:

Words are attached to meanings -- they aren't just sounds, right? You do know that?
Napalm is something other than a band name; it has some associations (The Kim Foundation) that are not really apt comparisons for your creative expressions although listening to you one does start to feel ones skin crawl. (That said, Ryan's whole speech is so laughable that it is hard to be offended.)
If you want to go to a napalm slum, you're in luck because it turns out we are using napalm in Iraq even though it is banned

At any rate, Top Design missed an opportunity to inform the viewers about the profession by letting Ryan's stupidity stand unchallenged.

Interior design is full of people doing extraordinarily innovative work bringing together aesthetics, conservation, recycling, and the built environment. (Not for nothing but Todd Oldham has something to offer in this area.) Here's a house build from freeway salvage that I just read about yesterday. There are a many amazing furniture designers who only work with recycled and sustainable materials. There is incredible work being done with land and landscape reclamation in former industrial sites in Eastern Germany . . .

Where I live in the Bay Area land is so expensive and the small house movement is very popular. I have a friend, also a metalworking artist, who helped create a mobile grocery store for fresh organic food in Oakland (People's Grocery, which is now a model for a project in New Orleans).

There is a world of people thinking about living spaces and the made environment that is recycled, restored, sustainable, small, transformable, and mobile.

What I'm saying is that there is so much Indy and DIY stuff that is really cool. Frankly, it pisses me off that for six weeks this artard has had a national television platform to spout his bullshit and meanwhile the people who are doing all of this fantastic work don't get the attention they deserve.

top design without pity

2007-03-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

The news that Bravo bought television without pity reminded me to go check the twop recap for top design.

I keep forgetting to check in with twop. It takes so long for the recap to go up that it has just dropped out of my routine. It is worth the wait, though, and this week's is no exception. Here are a few choice observations:

This seems like less of a job for Top Design and more of one for Clean House. Or at least one for Child Protective Services, if the Bells are serious about turning a garage into a play area for their kids. ("Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such educational filmstrips as ‘Carbon Monoxide: Nature's Unwanted Play Friend.'") Also, the Bells realize they can use other rooms in the house for things like offices and play areas and whatnot, right? Or is there some gypsy curse that prevents them from going up to the second floor?

re: the murderous look Ma Bell shoots at Ryan when he suggests de-cluttering: "Get rid of a lot stuff? Get rid of it? Then how will our neighbors know how rich we are? We didn't meticulously accrue a lot of things we don't need or want or even realize we have just to have some hippie vagrant suggest we get rid of it all. And you have the audacity to suggest such a thing in front of my children?"

Andrea's response to the shed add-on was: "out of nowhere came these impossible obstacles." ... Lady -- you're turning a shed into a workspace; you're not building the Panama Canal... Carisa's able to snag some filing cabinets and tabletops to make the "impossible" task of outfitting the shed a little more possible -- it's like a Christmas miracle!
Andrea frets that Goil is spending too much time on the bed. Boy, if only someone in charge of the project would express the concern directly to Goil.

Jonathan tells the contestants that they'll be judged on overall design execution, teamwork, how well they met the individual needs of each family member, and their personal contribution to the project; that means they'll likely be judged on their biorhythms, what they did two weeks ago, what kind of spread was available from the craft services table today, and a special mathematical formula that only Kelly Wearstler understands. Oh, and Jonathan also walked through the garage with the Bell family and got their feedback -- he waves his notes menacingly at the Top Designers -- so expect him to rely heavily on the Bells' opinions, unless it diverges from his own.

Ryan makes it ever more difficult to sympathize with him: "If my aesthetic doesn't please the judges, so be it. I can walk home to the slum that is the art world tomorrow and be perfectly happy." Petulant I'm-better-than-this-gig rants come across as much more powerful when they don't sound like the copy for a Calvin Klein perfume ad. ("If having a daring point of view is a crime, then declare me guilty!")

Ah, but let's get the opinion of the most important member of the Bell Family -- the all-new GMC Acadia ("The Acadia: We didn't start invading countries just so you people could start conserving fuel all of a sudden!") Pa Bell is able to drive the Acadia into the garage without any mishap -- "The Acadia: Now entirely parkable!" -- which produces a round of applause from the rest of the Bells and Jonathan. They must go crazy when someone successfully parallel-parks.

The "Throw Your Fellow Contestants Under the Bus" fun continues when talk turns to the color palette -- the kids suggested it, Andrea says, but Michael chose the actual colors. That's going to be quite a surprise to him.

Michael: "And I've got to take a piss so let's go." I think the great speeches of history would be improved exponentially if they ended on that declaration.

re: the derisive fury the judges are targeting at Michael. "I just know he is the author of the color of those curtains," Jonathan sighs. "Of course, he is," Margaret cackles. "He's never met a shade of grape he doesn't love," Jonathan adds. "Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Cleanse the earth with fire!" the judges chant.

Ryan says goodbye to a few of his fellow Top Designers: "All right, kids. Fight the power." Somewhere, Chuck D. just threw up into his mouth a little bit.

Click here to read the entire recap.

There are also the TwoP Polls, such as:

It's a garage! And a play area! And a workspace! What other things should the Bells request for this project, since they have subservient labor at their disposal?

A sliding floor the rolls back to reveal a Jacuzzi - 30%

A sliding floor that rolls back to reveal a Jacuzzi

A breakfast nook - 7%

A breakfast nook

A second floor - 10%

A second floor

A life-size foosball table - 9%

A life-size foosball table

Ramparts, to protect them from the howling mob when the inevitable class war breaks out - 41%

Ramparts, to protect them from the howling mob when the inevitable class war breaks out

Maybe now that Bravo has bought the web site they will take some of its advice:

at this point, Top Design can't even go five minutes without illustrating what the producers got wrong about making a compelling and engaging program.

Anyway, I'm going to go back and read the recaps I've missed from the last few weeks.

That said, it would be nice if television without pity top design would send a note to the folks at blogging top design and let them know when the recap is up.

margaret russell : observation 5

2007-03-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

Observations
by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |
OBSERVATION | 5|

| 5 |

Where was the art? Where the hell was the art? Where was the big idea? He always has a big idea and you've been charmed by them and he didn't have anything.

THE ROAD TO NOWHERE

purple haze

2007-03-10T12:29:00.000-08:00

Regarding the purple curtain situation, as I've said earlier, in this episode the judge' biases and blind spots are starting to get more and more blatant.

It was ridiculous the way the judges got so breathless over Erik's little curtain: "It was so fresh!!!! Like they'd never seen a cream and black roman shade before.

Furthermore, the girls liked the curtains. Those customers were far more satisfied than Goil's customer (i.e., the dog). In this case the judges should have just left Michael alone: the curtains were beautiful, useful and functional; he did what the leader asked him to do; and he provided what the client wanted. Instead the judges (as discussed in a previous post) should have made Goil stand up there and defend his doggy wagon.

Then there is the matter of accusing Michael of spending too much time working on the curtains. Those curtains were a lot of work and they were the most aesthetically important part of the garage especially since Ryan didn't create any art. There was even a rumor spread -- by the judges! -- that Michael may have focused so much on this task because he was flirting with the tailor. So does that mean that Goil had a crush on the dog?

For the record: Michael's appearance on Watch What Happens and subsequent postings on Pink Navy (utterly delicious!) put this matter to rest.

I'm wondering if the judges have some sort of allergy to aubergine. Have they ever liked any one's use of that color? Or do they just associate that color with Michael and because they have it in for Michael they don't like the color?

Michael's color choice may be based on criteria other than the one that the judges accuse him of (i.e., that he just likes every shade of grape that he's ever seen). Honestly, could they BE any more condescending? Why don't they just make him wear a helmet and call him a REtard while they are at it? In fact, there may be a reason that demonstrates Michael's professional skills.

Maybe Michael picked that color because it was the color Mr. Bell was wearing earlier in the day? Consciously or not -- an astute designer would register those kinds of things.

I'm sure that if Matt had made the curtains would they have lavished praise on him as having a keen sensitivity towards clients and color (See: why matt can do no wrong).

NOTE: I have noted in an earlier post "accentuate the positive" that Jonathan Adler's blog was less snarky this week but when it comes to Michael: it is still sour grapes.

The final problem has to do Andrea's leadership, and in some ways, her integrity (although that is not a reality tv show value where the idea is to do what ever it takes to win). Here's the deal: Elizabeth had to take the hit for colors that weren't entirely her choice. And she got kicked off for this. (Although that was probably a trumped up charge just to get rid of the boring decrepit old lady in her forties. Yeah. Speaking of purple: someone who threw parties for Prince's Purple Rain tour couldn't possibly be very cool or hip or interesting.) But I digress.

In this situation Andrea had immunity. It was really quite small of her not to take responsibility for the color choice. She had to know that blaming Michael for that shade of purple -- which was not entirely his fault after all [added 03/12: see the quiet one for evidence] -- could have gotten him kicked off the show that night.

NOTE: Yes, I've been defending the boy a lot lately (although I was not an immediate fan). Lest anyone think I'm in danger of sounding like one of Michael's minions, let me be clear: I'm nobody's minion. (He can be mine, however: mainly shades, banshees, that sort of thing. It's better than cleaning out garages -- or picking up after the the hell-hounds of hades -- but unless you get an Elysian appointment it isn't very glamourous work. Of course I'd find a good place for him in the organization. Hell needs a lot of redecorating.)

why matt can do no wrong

2007-03-09T18:08:00.000-08:00

There is something in that far off look in his eyes . . .

He reminds me of someone . . .

An old boyfriend?

Let me think.

Blond hair, blue eyes, light emanating from around his head . . .

Oh, now I remember:

Head of Christ, Warner Sallman, 1941
(for more information click on the painting)

There 's just something about a man with a trim beard and a beatific glow . . .

accentuate the positive

2007-03-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Since I was harshing on Jonathan Adler last week I want to point out that I liked his blog this week (Jonathan Adler's Blog). In fact I actually thought parts of it were very funny. He seems to have toned down the snarkiness and so his comments come across as more fair and less mean-spirited. He sounded less condescending (and didn't do as much of that faux folksy talk either).

Television has a funny way of manipulating images. It has occurred to me that -- given that JA is considered to be a genuinely likable person -- it probably never occurred to him that television audiences would actually find some of the contestants even more appeal ling. Furthermore, his treatment of some of them combined with his own apparent high self regard would then make him one of the more unpopular figures on the show. Of course this is not just about his own manner not hitting the right note but about the way he is being edited. Nonetheless, this must put him in a rather unfamiliar position and I doubt it is what he intended.

Anyway, there are two parts of his blog this week that I really like:

1. He has a very funny paranoid riff on hantavirus in garages (here, and here).

2. His take on Ryan is not only spot-on but totally hilarious.

I’ll start with the positives. He is a …… He is a …….. (thinking…..) He is a person who considers himself an artist. (Read the full ryan section here.)

Every time I read that line it makes me laugh.

in goil's perfect world ...

2007-03-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

... everyone would live in white boxes with wheels on them

(snore)

I like Goil. How can you not?

But this one-note of his is really getting old. We are halfway through the show and I'm still seeing white boxes. I don't think he is a decorator/designer. He's an architect. He's talented and bright and has a strong visual sensibility. But I'm starting to think he just doesn't have the skills -- perhaps not even the interests -- it takes to do interior design. I want to see him stay on the show because he's a delight to watch. If he won -- that would be great -- but he should go into business with a good decorator.

The judges biases and blind spots are starting to get more and more blatant. This works to Goil's favor as they never seem to find much fault and when they do it doesn't really count much against him. For example, there is the matter of the rolling dog bed that Goil spent most of his time working on in this past challenge.

I'd like to point out that dogs don't want to be on wheels (unless it is in a car with their nose out the window): they want to chase after wheels. Now don't write me and tell me that you have a toy dog that your kid dresses up and pushes around in a doll stroller all day. I'm not talking about those pocket pet dogs that you can put in your purses and carry around: they were bred as "toys" so they don't count.

Dogs are den animals. They like places that are like dens: covered, private, safe spaces of their own where they can retreat without the threat of being rolled out and attacked by predators such as little girls who will dress them up in outfits and make them play the unicorn in their fairy princess plays, or little pirate boys who will careen around with them in the raft on the rolling high seas until one or both of them barf.

My point is that, in a sense, Goil was more of a failure than Carisa in terms of wasting time not helping out while working on something that completely failed to meet the client's needs. I think that Goil deserved to be up there with Carisa this week, getting more criticism for the problem of his single-minded focus on what he was doing over the needs of the project as a whole.

bravo's blog bile

2007-03-06T09:42:00.000-08:00

or what ails top design and what might help clear its system

A couple symptoms of the problems with Bravo's Top Design can be found in two of its blogs: Jonathan Adler's and The Assistant's who both seem to have discovered how to pleasure themselves with the critic's stick (all puns intended). They've realized that it is easy to get a reaction by just waving it around at people (if not bludgeoning them with it). This saves them from having to use any thought let alone subtlety.

* * * *

jonathan

I really want to like this guy but he's sapping my strength.

One reason for the discordances in the show is that, for obvious reasons, it ends with the judging. The imperiousness of Margaret Russell, the snarkiness of Jonathan Adler, and the looniness of Kelly Wearstler can be amusing but they can also hit some rather off notes.

The latest posting from Jonathan Adler describes his views towards Michael as being "charitable" versus "less charitable." It strikes me as being a difference between "uncharitable" versus "mean-spirited."

What goes around comes around.

If I'm feeling charitable, I imagine that Michael wanted some decorative motif for his room and, under time pressure and suffering from exhaustion he just chose those birds and moved on.

The less charitable me has hypothesized that he's insane. In any event, it was a bad idea, second only to them colors. I suppose he could have thought that the birds were a kitsch gesture and that it would be cute.

Re: kitsch, I've often been accused of being a kitsch-enthusiast, which is totally untrue -- I actually hate kitsch. Pink flamingoes on the front lawn? No, merci. But, in the hands of some creative mavericks, traditional kitsch iconography transcends its kitschiness and becomes fantastic.

For instance, I have a giant poodle lamp in my bedroom that's so big and well-crafted that I couldn't say no. I have series of clown pictures that are intricately crafted in wood marquetry and they are so brilliantly designed and made that you really can't argue with them.

Sometimes it's the things in questionable taste -- inappropriate, vulgar, or a little kooky -- that make a room memorable. Diana Vreeland once said, "A little bad taste is like a nice splash of paprika. No taste is what I'm against."

Anyway, whatever. That still doesn't make them birds okay.

I don't need to demonstrate how this is self-contradictory and hypocritical -- and others have already drawn attention to these problems (pink navy, top design blogger). The internal logic of this passage is utterly non-existant. Thus when we get to the alleged conclusion: "Anyway, whatever. That still doesn't make them birds okay" -- asserted as if he has proven some point -- we can only respond with a resounding WFT?

By the way, I'm officially sick and tired of his faux folksiness, e.g., the use of them phrases that use them down-home dialect constructions. I might be able to enjoy this cutesy verbal decorative kitch as endearing if his manner were not so utterly condesdencing. There is something in his manner that belies such a sense of superiority towards (if not also a complete ignorance of) people who actually speak this way.

* * * *

NOTE: -- please read my reality television recommended reading as a reminder of the way that I am discussing the personalities on the show (especially "for the record.") I think of the judges as personas -- characters invented and performed for a television show. There is a difference between Jonathan Adler, the Top Design judge, which is a role played by the actual person Jonathan Adler. How much the two have in common I do not know. However there are two things that are proven to be strongly personality-altering--both consciously and unconsciously: being on television and having power over other people, such as being a judge.

* * * *

the toad

If Jonathan's blog shows an off note, this blog moves us from sour into foul.

I want to know why Bravo is paying this guy to write a blog? He isn't like the judges who are talented people whose opinions count for something. He's not funny. He's not likable. He's just obnoxious.

He reminds me of those boys in junior high school who didn't really do anything -- they weren't smart or popular, they didn't do sports, they weren't dorky nice guys; they were just a little band of brats who went around tormenting people: spreading gossip, insulting people for their weakness (making fun of the fat kid, the kid with bad acne or thick glasses). They were toadies for popular kids and bullies who had no respect for them.

His latest blog gives us gossip that could end up getting one of the cameramen fired. He tells us about the people on the show he dislikes. He informs us about the designs he dislikes. He wrote an ignorant description of Elizabeth when she was kicked off that was totally inappropriate. (Who died and make him the king of what was cool? Of what was hip and who was out of date? Does the world want to know that a little shit like him thinks women over the age of forty are old fogies?) He is even snide about the judges.

The contestants, he tells us, "can annoy like nails on a chalkboard." Well cry me a river. It's your job to deal with them.

It is really rather bizarre.

What is the point? To undermine the show and the cast? To make himself seem important? Even though he has no apparent talent or knowledge of design he can make himself sound like he's as big as the judges and the cast because he can cut them down as an official voice on the Bravo TV web site?

He isn't a blogger like those of us out here doing this for fun -- and for free. We don't actually know these people--we aren't saying anything that is personal--we are talking about this as a television show--as a type of fiction. Plus, and this is the important part: we are doing this not because we are employees but because we are fans.

* * * *

rucker

Which just reminds me, by way of contrast, of Rucker. I suppose because reading his blog you got the sense that the show was fun (and a lot of work and a pain in the ass and kind of insane). He was also incredibly funny. He wasn't mean-spirited and nasty about the show and the people on it. The worst he ever did was shrug his shoulders at the camera when Vincent had his fluff and fold tantrum. That moment, that gesture, says everything about reality television. That may go down as the most hilarious moment in reality television. Ever.

* * * *

What can be done?

mr todd

On Project Runway Tim Gunn's voice plays an important role setting the tone. The problem is that there isn't enough of Todd's voice in the show. That is a big mistake. The other personalities just are not likeable enough to carry the show.

Todd had a successful show on House of Style. He has a quirky manner but it really grows on you after a while. We need to see more of him. Maybe it isn't too late for the last half of the season to be edited in order to bring out more of Todd's voice, which is funny, genuine, and smart. It may not be as histrionic, pompous and over-the-top as reality television likes, but it is what Top Design needs to keep it from sinking in the mire of its own bile.

University of Virginia Health Sciences Library

* * * *

Finally, am I being mean-spirited myself? Perhaps. (Do I contradict myself?)

Nonetheless, I prefer a scalpel to carrying a stick.

how to design a room around a puppy . . .

2007-03-02T16:13:00.000-08:00

or how a puppy will redecorate it for you

(click on the image above for the full picture of my redecorated office)

detail of laundry basket

those ducks, them birds, oh my!

2007-02-23T22:50:00.000-08:00

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
--- Put Your Records On | Corinne Bailey Rae
currently playing on Michael's My Space

I thought Michael's room was great.

His client was lucky that to have a designer who could create a room that was better than they knew how to describe. A graduating design student should have aspired to live in this kind of a space. Michael's taste and style was sophisticated but it wasn't old. There were a few problems : it needed a coffee table and as Linda Merrill pointed out, too much furniture was clustered at the back of the room leaving it feeling empty up in front. Nonetheless this was mid-century modern (up to seventies Scandinavian design) but in an unpredictable and quirky enough way so that it wasn't too obvious or theme-y. The art on the back wall was nice but I'm just going to address the confusion that the judges had with the three birds on the side wall.

Margaret: And those ducks?
Jonathan: I don't know what was up with them birds on the wall.
-- re: Michael's room from Margaret & Jonathan's blogs on bravotv.com

Let's start at the beginning with what was probably, for anyone between the ages of 10 and 70, the obvious association:

Created by Sandy Dvore the Partridge Family logo and hatching egg opening title sequence is a brilliant work of graphic design and one of the most iconic images from television.Furthermore, this image is inseparable from the television show's theme song "C'mon Get Happy." (See also Top Design Blogger's "Michael Made Us All Sing" posting.)

Isn't that Jonathan Adler's mantra? He sure wasn't giving Michael any of it.

This kind of graphic imagery is still popular. Sometimes it is explicitly referencing the Partridge Family logo:

Partridge Family Remix
Anabella Gebhardt

Nonetheless, more often than not this look is just part of a particular graphic style used by an artist. It may be evoking the graphic idiom of the sixties and seventies: either for a more stylized pop retro look or for something that is more of a subtle reference to higher graphic arts trends (or something in between).

Luba
erinzam.etsy.com

These basic cutouts are, of course, commonly seen in the simple shapes used in children's illustration or by crafters who work with materials such as paper cutout:

love
rachel herbert

They also recall the birds seen in a variety of folk arts.

Bird Tree
Susan Dahl Folk Art

I am fairly certain that Michael would be familiar with the work of Charley Harper, an artist whom Todd Oldham champions. It is possible that the bold graphic shape and lines of Harper's birds may be another source of inspiration.

cardinal courtship
charley harper

snow goose gallery

While I can't really claim that three wood cutouts are explicitly related to any of these various artistic forms, I do think that the shape was modern and bold enough to suggest an awareness of a particular graphic look.

At any rate, my simple answer to Margaret and Jonathan is that with "them birds" Michael is using a popular style of graphic imagery -- simple, folk, craftsy, a bit cutesy but also funky and retro -- that has pop culture associations connected to the message of being happy and being yourself.

margaret russell : observation 4

2007-02-23T16:16:00.000-08:00

Observations
by
Margaret Russell
edited by kora in hell
2007

CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
OBSERVATION | 1 |
OBSERVATION | 2 |
OBSERVATION | 3 |
OBSERVATION | 4 |

| 4 |

I. Afghans need to stay in the family that made them.

II. You let me say some nice things tonight.

III. I'm not in the places where people live.

consuming girls

2007-02-23T09:30:00.000-08:00

the current scene with barbie, bratz, and princesses

The guys on Project Rungay are blogging season two of Project Runway (as is Eric3000). Right now they are writing about Episode 3, when the designers had to create an outfit for the new My Scene Barbie. My Scene Barbie is Mattel's answer to Bratz, which is putting a serious dent into Mattel's monopoly of the market. This reminded me of two very smart (and quite funny) articles that were recently published:

Little Hotties : Barbie's New Rivals
On the rise of the Bratz doll phenomenon.
By Margaret Talbot, New America Foundation
The New Yorker | December 5, 2006

What’s Wrong With Cinderella? One mother's struggle with her 3-year-old daughter's love affair with princess culture.
By PEGGY ORENSTEIN
The New York Times Magazine | December 24, 2006

[ related kih postings : ]

2. andrea & michael (see note on girls and glitter)
back matter feb07
body image
the unbearable cuteness of being : oct06
the unbearable cuteness of being continued
the holly hobbie chronicles : sept06

quality time together

2007-02-22T12:43:00.000-08:00

(with apologies to E3K for the conversational genre imitation, um, homage.)

I wasn't sure if I would watch Top Design last night but my husband wasn't feeling well so he stayed home. While the show was on he surfed the web and I read the long New Yorker article on the Hewlitt-Packard surveillance scandal.

FYI: This is such a disgusting example of the board room old boys club that I wanted to take a shower after finishing the article, the upshot being that Silicon Valley zillionaire and numero uno a-hole Tom Perkins, a soft? porn writing skeeve screwed over Patricia Dunn because she made the cardinal sin of not kissing his ass. Now she is facing felony charges meanwhile his bud Mark Hurd, the CEO of HP -- who knew as much as Dunn plus he was her superior -- not only walks free but was just given an $8.6 million cash bonus plus stock options. Oh, and Dunn has been going through treatment for ovarian cancer throughout the entire ordeal and will probably die before she is forced to serve any time in jail. Perkins now claims he feels bad for her and that he didn't mean for this to go so far -- like it is some sort of fraternity prank that got out of hand, which, in a way, it is. Some things never change. Ain't life grand?

Anyway, having company made the show slightly more interesting, especially because otherwise it was just another bunch of white boxes. What little conversational energy we had was spent marvelling at two things:

First:

Me, distracted by reading article in the New Yorker: Where do they find these people? First an interior designer who has never painted. Now one who has never been to a garage sale?

Husband, distracted by being sick and surfing the web: How could someone never have gone to a garage sale?

MDBRANY: She's part Swiss. Maybe she went to a Swiss finishing school. They sent her away from the damaging affects of American garage sale culture.

HDBBSSW: So she has always had something new or auction quality antiques?

MDBRANY: She's also the one who said that she always gets what she wants.

HDBBSSW: Is she Veruka Salt?

Second:

MDBRANY: Who in their right mind would be wowed by somebody else's grandma's afghan?

HDBBSSW: Someone who did not come from a family whose grandma made afghans?

MDBRANY: But she's an interior designer. Look at those colors. That has got to be the cheapest acrylic yarn there is.

HDBBSSW: When are you going to finish knitting those socks for me?

the geography of modern art

2007-02-20T16:50:00.000-08:00

from Saint-Tropez to Tahiti

I sure as hell don't know what it is like to go on vacation to Saint-Tropez so I don't blame Team St. Tropez for their ignorance on that front.

(I know there is the whole Brigitte Bardot thing but I'm more taken by the romance of the La Dolce Vita on the Italian Riviera. Of course the reality is that on both the French and the Italian side the beaches are over crowded and the water is polluted. Anyway, whenever I think of the French at the beach all I can think of is Mr. Hulot's Holiday!)

Nonetheless, I would expect them to be familiar with these places not through travel but through art; they are associated with two key movements in Modern Art: pointillism and primitivism.

I know this is pedantic but, frankly, they should know this stuff. Understanding twentieth century design requires a knowledge of visual idioms such as pointillism and primitivism (along with other avant-garde innovations such as cubism and surrealism and later movements such as abstract expressionism and pop art).

For that reason it is disapointing that the designers were not familiar with Saint-Tropez or they could not think of what to do with Tahiti other than Gilligan's Island. (And Ryan is an artist for chrissakes. Oy. Don't even get me started.)

There are many technical and business aspects to the work of Interior Designers and Decorators
( and every job has administrative and related tasks). (Click here to to go Linda Merrill's discussion of the professional responsibilities of decorators and designers in her online : : surroundings magazine.)

However, Interior Design is also an applied field in the Arts. The art historical focus is more on architecture, decoration, furniture, textiles, etc. Nonetheless, it would seem to me at least that an awareness of the key movements of art and design is basic knowledge for working in the profession.

Am I right? Professionals out there?

Anyway, if it isn't part of the training they should know it anyway. And it should be part of the training.

There. I've said it.

let's get real

2007-02-18T20:23:00.000-08:00

or, fantasy is overrated when everyone’s fantasy is exactly the same

the look of luxury

The "Tahiti" cabana won and yet -- or, I would argue because -- it had nothing to do with Tahiti.

It did, however, fit the current design rage for everything fitting into the "luxury spa look."

white curtains,
bamboo blinds,
white linens,
teak and bamboo wood furnishings
martini glasses and shaker, etc.

In other words, that Tahiti "cabana" was the look of upscale Club-Med-Anywhere design.

This style is about how it doesn't matter where you are because you are always in the lap of luxury. Every place is provided with the modern conveniences of any other place. Even the various beach names are literally interchangeable. They are just theme names given to clubs that basically all look the same:

Above, clockwise from upper left: Nikki Beach St. Tropez in Miami; "Kon Tiki" Tahiti Beach in St. Tropez; Miami's Nikki Beach in St. Tropez with Tahiti-style cabana.

Above: Club Med Anywhere & Luxury Spa Anywhere.

anywhere but here

The important thing about this kind of travel is that you are always in the care of the hotel/spa and remain on their grounds where the environment is controlled: you are chauffeured to and from the airport and aside from special helicopter tours with catered picnics you never leave the confines. That way you never have to encounter anything that is actually indigenous or that won't take Visa.

The local environment is so completely mediated so that it will always be comfortable and aesthetically pleasing. Thus you avoid the hazard of encountering anything that might be unfamiliar or not up to your standards of taste like local design, culture, food, and, of course, people. The only locals you meet are the ones that work for you.

bright colors are so . . . ethnic

They kicked off the person whom they thought picked colors that were too garish and bright. Nonetheless team Miami was the only group that took a chance and did something that was actually informed by local culture and style. Miami is associated with bright colors –- not just 30s art deco but also 50s mambo; with Cuba, Latin America and the Caribbean; with tourist kitsch, 80s pastels, and neon lights: it is a place of exuberance to the point of excess.

For another example of a cabana design that probably would have offended the sensibilities of the judges as well check this out: The WOWhouse Cabana (a backyard playhouse/cabana planned with the input of the two girls who will use it).

a bahamavention intervention

Top Design has an opportunity to challenge the design world by rewarding the designers that take risks and that break away from the most staid and predictable of trends. However, those trends are what make money. The problem is that if something is new then it hasn't proven itself marketable yet. (And if it doesn't make money then, of course, it can't possibly be any good.) Television and magazines make a lot of money from the advertisers for all of these luxury spa goods and vacations. I'm sure they don’t want to reward the designers that don’t reinforce this industry.

Is this too cynical? Well I don’t think it is possible to be too cynical about advertising motivations, and I see little evidence that this show is aiming for anything higher.

Do I think the judges are consciously doing this? Of course not. But the judges live in the world of luxury spas. They aren't going to question the fact that when in Tahiti one expects to have beautiful flowing white curtains, bamboo blinds, white linens, teak furnishings, martini glasses and a shaker.

blots on the otherwise tasteful country club look

Undoubtedly when Margaret saw an item that reminded her of the hamburger shack at her country club she threw up a little bit in her mouth. How she must have suffered at the trauma of such an aesthetically impure association!

If your environment is the country club then I suppose you would be horrified by the idea of something that looks like the hamburger shack. On the other hand, you might want to broaden your environment.

what they don't know will hurt us

They're in Surf City. Southern California. Beach side hamburger shacks – and surf shacks -- are part of the culture. I think it would have been more fun to see them design updated versions of these.

One problem with this assignment was that some of the designers did not know what a cabana was (seriously) or anything about St. Tropez or Tahiti. (I know. I know.) The fact that team Tahiti could not think of anything in between Gilligan’s Island and Generic Luxury Spa is a sad combination of a lack of knowledge and a lack of imagination.

Nonetheless, if the assignment was to do surf shacks at least the designers would have been able to grasp the idea better and therefore perhaps they would have been more creative in their designs. And, more importantly, it would have been more interesting for us.

The question remains whether Margaret could have handled the concept of leisure outside of luxury spas and country clubs!

bon mots

2007-02-16T16:12:00.000-08:00

This week all three of the judges had some good zingers.

Jonathan hilariously described his response to Goil/Carisa/Ryan's design as: "I'm in St. Tropez, I'm in St. Tropez, I'm in St. Tr -- Wait! I'm in Buffalo."

Team Tahiti's roofless design evoked a couple of the best quips, like Kelly's suggestion that they "include a bucket of zinc oxide." Margaret channelled some of Kelly's southern style and declared, "You're gonna get fried."

In this week's Observation, Margaret's literary stylings reached a new zenith this week. She moved away from the statement form and her language became more associative. I think it was the southern French connection: she became possessed by the the spirit of the troubadours.

The previous weeks observations had an Asian, zen-like style with her use of terse statements that appear simple but upon reflection they plumb profound depths. The first week's was a light koan spoken in a more off-hand modern language. The second week she became more poetic: her repetition reinforced her characteristic irony as well as her use of the haiku form.

This week Margaret celebrated the southern French landscape in poem that is both modern and traditional. Her simple questions -- romantic but almost child-like -- evoke the popular ballad form. The poem appears to be an aubade that celebrates the morning light.The aubade was popular with both the troubadors and as well as modernist poets such as Ezra Pound who greatly admired the troubadors. The second stanza's classic imagist style is very reminiscent of H.D. Indeed, her intense compaction and ironic undercurrent perfectly captures the spirit of the Americans in France a century ago. Can we read this as Margaret's preference for high modernism over the decor of French country?